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Critical Analysis #2
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Dirt to Dust
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Dirt to Dust |
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Lotta Lagg Junior Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 19Michigan |
Dirt to Dust Beneath the dirt we lie to dust Ecstasy will lift my soul adjust Encounter my substance that I suppress Beneath the dirt my body a mess My soul shall fulfill eternity abound While my body below decade the ground Psyche I’m free Anatomy never to be ~ "One Oneness One" |
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| © Copyright 2006 Therese - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
Try not to rhyme and use more physical decriptions. Like the part that says your body a mess. well desribe in a sentence or two what that looks like. |
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gelato Member
since 2005-10-27
Posts 63TN,USA |
I liked it very much and it was very descriptive to me.I was really able to imagine the dark forboding that you told of. I like rhymes in certain poems. "Relationships are the one tangible connection we have with God" - Purpose Driven Life |
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elpoeta Junior Member
since 2006-01-17
Posts 15Puerto Rico |
I'm not sure what my soul will adjust to in line two... and who encounters your substance that you surpress. I feel like there's a line or two missing, like there's more to this poem. I did like it, and it was very thought provoking. Mike |
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