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Critical Analysis #2
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Tina
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Tina |
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louise New Member
since 2005-07-14
Posts 8 |
I have buried my face in my mother’s hair, burrowing in the smell of her, a layered fragrance like a field of flowers which stretches for eternity. The dark brown curls welcome me, a refuge from death and time. She is perfection. Her tanned skin is soft and young; her smile is ageless. She lives like a painting, never growing old, only more beautiful. |
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| © Copyright 2005 louise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hard to fault a tribute to mother. Maybe trim a couple of unnecessary words, particularly in L4 which just seemed a bit klunky. |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
louise, Overall, a good job in expressing some lovely thoughts in a loving way. I also agree you could prune a few unecessary words. For a start, every "a" in that poem could be cut without affecting flow in the least. Thanks for posting, Sid |
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Always Lisa Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 133 |
Aaaaaw, any Mom would love this. From a Mom. Thanks for posting. Regards, Always Lisa |
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