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Critical Analysis #2
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Someone
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Someone |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA 
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Will the roses look just a nice? Will the air feel just as warm? Will the sundae taste just as sweet? Without me, I know you can’t stop thinking about, You without me, How will you cope with your lost love? And you won’t stop caring about me, You won’t get me out of your head, No matter how hard you try, I left a part of me with you, My moments with you were so few, Will someone else wipe your tears? Will someone else kiss you tonight? Will someone else cuddle with you? Will you sleep safe at night without me? No, I can’t stop caring for you, I will never get to hold you again, I will never cry in front of anyone, I will never hold anyone so tight, Do you understand this madness? This is what love is, That I shall never love again, And I won’t start caring, For someone else, Who can’t ever have my love. I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
I think you need much more constructive structure in your poem. There's not much outward "timber" to the body, as poetic structure, to speak for such strong inward will and thoughts in a poetically structured way. The meaning is poetic. The sincerity is poetic. But the structuralism itself is very weak. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
There are very good words and works on forms and structures in the Poetry Workshop. |
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Angel1 Junior Member
since 2005-06-29
Posts 20TN, USA |
that poem could be a hit country song. |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Thanks! I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality. |
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