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Critical Analysis #2
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2 poems
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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2 poems |
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b.costen Member
since 2003-11-02
Posts 107ontario, CAN |
Pruning the Pruned Oh, I wrote letters to Helen and did she ever! not in words, but little boxes— filled with life a pebble glued to a leaf. and once an elephant tusk with writing spiralled like staircase in that museum a dog’s growl, recorded onto tape-cassette she said she’d found it after winter while cleaning her garden and it had made her think of me not the garden, but cleanliness Traditional Lives “stuck?” That’s what he said as we came out of the church and waited on the concrete “what’s worse than a rut?” i wondered “a parade” he answered and i agreed, but asked him not to jump so far ahead in conversation next time so what's it going to be then, eh? [This message has been edited by b.costen (04-13-2005 12:52 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2005 ben costen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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netsky Member
since 2005-03-29
Posts 148Miami |
there are some few poets above traditional parsing. I would not want to eff you up, make doubts or worries. Here- first poem is fine. Second poem is fanuckingtastic charm I like them both. If I were to choose, the #2 is the more piquant. Hugely good read, that one, in partic. Thank you ben! I'll blunt you when I'm particularly lost, as in the other submission. Here.. the mysteries of the first poem are minor and forgivable. The second is not mysterious. Just -great- kudos. I wish I could see your work in 20 or 30 years more from now. Unlikely but I know I'd be amazed at your growth. Zoom. Screw convention but do keep some connectivity to we of relativly low verbal/imagery conductivity. It's your lot to be largely misunderstood and ignored at this time of your life. be kind to lessers. |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
It's always been my opinion that a poem ought to inspire the reader to reason like a well-written novel that creeps up on your consciousness. Odd as it may sound these two poems go together quite well just as you presented them. It has that underlying connection to religion and love. This “cleanliness,” and the reference to church and conversation in the next fits. Most of what a writer discovers is by accident. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain |
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