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Critical Analysis #2
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Essorant
Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

0 posted 2004-12-10 02:27 PM


History and the Sea


Of many waves the mighty flow
Of many winds on high and low
How vast the main, and vigorous
of many moods, mysterious!

Lo, no human may overswim
fathomy's width, bosomy's brim
the body weak, and lacking grip;
but a man is lordly, in a ship!

There he has now kindly crew
Society, and hearty hue;
the swimmer,  steering wheel to grip,
is a lordly man, in a ship!

Underdeck, voyagehoard to heap
tales and songs, hands and timber keep:
Man and his grip, ship and its might
outstrips the stormy dark, to light!

Beforetimes token and treasure,
Aftertimes, wonder and pleasure:
with two sides and a steering wheel
the oldest wood; the keenest keel.

Man is given by God such grip
he smithed to strength, a glory-ship.
And sails Eternity's wide sea
Man, a lord, in his History.

© Copyright 2004 Essorant - All Rights Reserved
b.costen
Member
since 2003-11-02
Posts 107
ontario, CAN
1 posted 2004-12-10 09:08 PM


Quite excellent found I until this verse:

"outstrips the stormy dark, to light!"

the 'to light!' caught me off, it seemed out of the rhythm somehow

you had me going until then, the ending i thought, could also have been stronger, for your part

ben

so what's it going to be then, eh?

Essorant
Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada
2 posted 2004-12-10 10:45 PM


Bcosten


Thanks for reading and commenting.
I hope this makes a betterment to lines 15 and 16:

Man and his grip, ship and its might
thro storming dark, for morning light.

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