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Critical Analysis #2
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Greeneyes7
Junior Member
since 2001-11-05
Posts 16
Illinois

0 posted 2004-06-08 04:13 PM


First post to be critiqued.  This isn't my normal style because I'm not normally a rhyming type but this came out so quickly I was wanting some critiques.  Thanks

Agree to disagree
and let it be
insults flying around
angry voices sound
What resolutions will come
assuming there are some

I'm not willing to fight
until I lose all sight
of the reason I fell for you
and the reason that you fell too

Agree to disagree
please let it be
I love you too much to fight
Let's stop fighting for tonight.

Life is what you make it.  Live each day as if it was your last.

© Copyright 2004 C. L. Hart - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2004-06-08 04:21 PM


Typically rhyme isn't enough as a writing tool and needs to be accompanied by meter... this is what they told me years ago... and since i couldn't get any meter right, i just started writing free verse...

Having said this, I would bow out and leave the floor (so to speak) to the experts

Regards
Sudhir

rainingwithsun
Junior Member
since 2004-05-06
Posts 19
Toledo, Ohio USA
2 posted 2004-06-11 08:28 AM


I must agree, the meter is off some but what a neat write. It almost made me laugh as I have kinda felt this way myself during an argument! Wish I had this poem at the time, I would have just shown it to her and I think all hostilities would have ended!
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2004-06-11 10:46 PM


Should have been on a card when I was married, to hand him   Critique is on the way - I want to see how this one would be done myself Lauren.
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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #2 » First critique post: Cease Fire (I love you!)

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