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Critical Analysis #2
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Generation
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Generation |
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Halcyon Junior Member
since 2003-04-10
Posts 43Arizona, USA |
Here I know what ye know not How nature's once living turn To crumbling creatures of humbled rot And in forests ablaze they burn. Then do these moments come When existence brings endless doubt, And the virtue of change unknown to some Intercedes-- from nothing life will sprout. -=-=-=-=- An experiment with ABAB rhyme scheme. There's something that just doesn't seem right to bring out the theme and tone of the poem. However, I can't quite put my finger on it.. perhaps it's in the word choice or punctuation, I don't know. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Marc Afan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
The main problem here is the meter. The rhyme is all right. Rhyming poetry usually works better when accompanied by consistent meter. Fix that and I think it will improve a lot. JMHO Pete |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
My thoughts exactly. With a little touch up of meter, this is a really good poem. (i've been working on this myself  |
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Halcyon Junior Member
since 2003-04-10
Posts 43Arizona, USA |
Ah, ok. Thanks. |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
Ok. I'll probably be corrected since I'm just learning what meter is all about myself. But meter is syllable count. If you make a matching syllable count in your rhymes, it will have a better rhythm along with your ABAB rhyme scheme. Jess |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
It's more than syllable count. The stresses also have to be in the right places. More later if necessary. |
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