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Critical Analysis #2
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Plot for a Poem.
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Plot for a Poem. |
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croyles Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 102 |
This isnt actually a poem yet, but I wanted to know wether the meaning is reasonably clear, and if it could do with some tightening up or whatever. Any type of critique is welcome though. Life’s a ceaseless spiral – As it stretches aloft the clouds, We learn from our mistakes In preparation for all moral tests That the future throws upon us. But farther down, The voice that lingers in your head at night, Licks it’s menacing fingers, wrapping it round Hope’s desperate candle, Till it trembles, quivers and croaks – And all that’s left Is the faultering note of memories – That once wrought a smile upon your face -, now haunting you, liquefying innocence to form afresh the shape of guilt. All around you, allurement For champing on your sanity. Wether we climb or fall, Ceaselessly we spiral around, But for long years our vision is blurry and weak, All we see is ourselves circling Round and round To end at the same old station, We see no risk, no loss, nor any given goal. |
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| © Copyright 2004 croyles - All Rights Reserved | |||
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croyles Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 102 |
Ok can someone PLEASE POST SOME CRITERIA???? |
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j0n4th4n Member
since 2003-03-11
Posts 94 |
hey i think this is a poem alright! i mean, why do you think its not? almost anything apart from prose can be. it needs tightening up grammarwise etc. i very lazy. cant critique more. ok how about - what is it about? life? maybe its a bit vague. but hey, maybe you want the feeling of 'vagueness' to be sometimes cáptured. is life vague? |
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croyles Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 102 |
it is about life being vague in a certain sense, but it was NOT my intention on making the PLOT vague. |
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