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Critical Analysis #2

Try feather try

b.costen
Member

since 2003-11-02

Posts 107
ontario, CAN

0 posted 2004-02-09 10:42 PM

Try feather try
To fly against the
Treasures of the nigh
And the windy tricks
That heave and seem to
Seem to sigh

Why weather why
Would cry this long to
A lover must did die
And the fog of heaven
That lower, lowers and
Conceals the moony eye

Aye brother aye
So lie again and keep
Inner thoughts and sly
Your face to me is
Properly devoured hourly
By wolves at night

And I would rather die
Starve amidst the snow
Than let you go
Murdering family by family
Families my families
Laughing as you go on traveling
----------------

Is the last stanza any good? Got any alternate last stanzas popping into your brains? I'd love to see a different one but i can't get my mind around it.

Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

1 posted 2004-02-10 11:56 AM

I like it as is... flows real nice. Excellent images. It does have an abrupt ending, though, but maybe that's the way it should be. I'm not an expert-- just my opinion. Grover.

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