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Critical Analysis #2
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Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

0 posted 2004-01-29 03:58 PM


The broken line
down the middle of the road
fades in the twilight--
the rainbow is swallowed up.

Shadows multiply into giants.

Silhouetted fence posts sweep by.

Potential road-kills prepare to meet their fate.

Headlights begin to dot the horizon.

Darkness methodically mends her net:
she casts it with precision.

Eye contact can no longer be made.

Ghosts ride in the rear seat--
they talk about me
then silence themselves and vanish
when I look in the rearview mirror.

[This message has been edited by Grover (01-29-2004 09:53 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Grover Gall - All Rights Reserved
wintertao
Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL
1 posted 2004-01-29 05:44 PM


nice to see you posting/reviewing in here....

I consider this to be, well, mas fina. Oh, pardon me, very fine. Its Excellent. Creativity is what attracts me to a poem more than anything, many creative lines and it created vivid images.

I looked hard for something to critique, came up with only prehaps lose the too

"the rainbow is swallowed up [too]"


Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-01-31 11:49 PM


Oooh.. Nice. This is really vivid - I love the "Eye contact can no longer be made." .. No, i love all of it.. I can't pick a piece that isn't unique and doesn't make me want to read more and more! Keep writing!!

I'll be watching out for more of yours Grover..

Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^

Love - Lynne

colbalt
Junior Member
since 2004-02-03
Posts 20

3 posted 2004-02-05 06:12 PM


I find myself unable to pick the best bit aswell! I was in desperate need of inspiration. Reading this I find I'm no longer lacking this! Thank you
regards
colbalt

Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
4 posted 2004-02-09 03:22 PM


I'm definitely enjoying reading your peices as well, Grover.  They don't try to fit into a mold - you're very original.  I like that.
b.costen
Member
since 2003-11-02
Posts 107
ontario, CAN
5 posted 2004-02-09 10:19 PM


"Darkness methodically mends her net:
she casts it with precision." definitely caught my eye, of course there are other parts of greatness, but I liked the leading up and finite ending of that stanza.  Will look out for your stuff like the others...

so what's it going to be then, eh?

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