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Critical Analysis #2
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The Strays
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The Strays |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA 
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We have six or seven strays They live on our backporch They always obey We feed them in the morning and at night So they can see the food We turn on the light Some are skiddish Some are nice Some see you and run for their life Strays can be good But now we have a brood Which is defiently not good. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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| © Copyright 2002 the_loner_23 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I found the opening stanza intriguing but after that you let the rhyme control the poem. Play with lines more, perhaps use the idea of light to play on the idea of when you feed them, develop images that show why you feed them and, above all -- drop, drop, drop that last line.  |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
I agree with Brad here. I was anticipating a take on the importance of their obedience, but then it just turned sort of sing-song. I would try to think beyond what the concrete strays to their metaphorical relation to the rest of the world, your own life, etc. Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. |
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