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SOULS SING
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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SOULS SING |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
My heart sheds a tear, My soul wants to hide from fear. My eyes try to see the light, Darkness keeps my spirit from flight. Such a rare bird, sings a song to pass the word. what spirits must endow, Lost souls need to gather now. Souls pasing in the night, casting shadows from the pale moon light. Must come together to chase away fear, Hearts must open keeping love near. The time has come for spirits to fly, No time to ask or wonder why. Open you'r eyes, let the light shine in. Chase out darkness, that keeps fear within, For fear is only, evil moving in, To keep knowledge out, so our journey can't begin. For the light is so we can see, Our way back home, with our heavenly father, to love and live life, the way it was meant to be. Evil keeps us busy, no time to grow and and get wise, For words of wisdom,knowledge and understing, evil can only dispise. That's what gives the devil fear, with that, we can hear. That rare bird singing in the sky, Don't ask or wonder why, spread your wings, let your spirits fly. Time to go home, Where evil can't roam. [This message has been edited by MGROVES (02-02-2004 05:09 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 marsha groves~adragonsdream~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
The way you have it spaced messes with the timing and flow, and, you shouldn't do all capitols, it's like you are yelling, that turns alot of people off,,the neat of the poem is good, the message you're going for is evident Michelle I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Read my new post below!!! Turn off your "Caps Lock." Take time to read how others have posted their work then follow their example! Do a rewrite and I'm certain you'll get some good comments. Grover. [This message has been edited by Grover (02-02-2004 06:42 PM).] |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Hi, M! A very nice poem, flows real good. I like the imagery, eg. ...fear is only, evil moving in, To keep knowledge out, so our journey can't begin. Good job! Grover. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I'm starting to see a pattern here. Same problems over and over. Why not slow down a little too and let us get into these a little deeper. Maybe it will do something positive for us all. You have already posted 5 in just over a day. It's pretty hard to get into much serious discussion when they come so fast. |
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