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Critical Analysis #2
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Winter
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Winter |
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rabab New Member
since 2003-12-23
Posts 8Ontario, Canada |
Morning sun on a winter day, filters through windowed rooms. Calling me out to face the sun, though the winter wind, will cool my bone. I know that to be true; still not escape the sunlit call. Looking out my windowed room. Fields of snow is all I see, the howling sound of the wind, seems an invite for me to go, playing in the sunlit snow. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Kazi Muhaimen Ahmed - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wintertao Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366Okaloosa Island, FL |
I like this...I was wishing the poem went on a bit longer...and thats a good thing. I was actually hoping there was a 3rd S... oh well... one thing - look for alternatives to word sunlit. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Just a couple of quick suggestions. Work on your punctuation. It is almost all wrong here. Also, invite is a verb, not a noun. |
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a123 Member
since 2004-03-27
Posts 72 |
your poem has a very nice feeling about it.you do need to work on the grammar- looking out OF my windowed room... seems like an INVITATION for me to go i dont think there is any other problem.keep writing . i love the way you say things like morning sun on a winters day.great poem! |
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