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Imaginary Teardrop Lake
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Imaginary Teardrop Lake |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
Find me oh waves of spirit caress me in song music entrance me in forever days of long moon beams dance dance in the midnight lake that my teardrops have made Fear release me courage walk beside me make me strong like the water God grant me wisdom make me a worthy daughter when I open my eyes I return to the world in a clever disguise fake disposition weary accomplished tries at a secret ambition hope flies rest upon existence seek life and forever never die Love hurts as bad as it feels good. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Bonnie Sue Bixler - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wintertao Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366Okaloosa Island, FL |
I like this...I would try to find alternatives to this: moon beams dance dance in the midnight lake that my teardrops have made the whole moon beams dance thing with the midnight and the lakes is boring to me...If I had a dollar for every time I saw moon beams in a poem I would be rich. Dont go there, be creative, find another way to say this. |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
lol, ok, i'll take your word on this =) thank you =) - River Love hurts as bad as it feels good. |
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angele Junior Member
since 2004-01-09
Posts 35Malta (tiny island in the Med) |
The third stanza of this is really beautiful. Its original and somewhat unexpected when compared with the rest of the poem...keep em coming  |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
thanks angele =) appreciate it. - River Love hurts as bad as it feels good. |
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