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Critical Analysis #2
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Fading paint
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Fading paint |
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gourdmad Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136Upper Ohio Valley |
Lives outside a one zip code town likes to watch paint fade birds eating seeds of grown grass follow melting snow Reads a book occasionally doesn’t watch TV a week at a time know who the latest Madonna clone is wear what fashion slaves wear Has seen the sun rise more than twice knows his neighbor’s names the places where deer sleep at night you can get there from Here |
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| © Copyright 2003 gourdmad - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wintertao Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366Okaloosa Island, FL |
I liked this...there were 2 lines I thought were weak wear what fashion slaves wear and the last one... anyway its an interesting poem, well done. |
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a123 Member
since 2004-03-27
Posts 72 |
interesting poem i didnt get the last stanza though.i have been readin a lot of your poems one question how old r u{if u dont mind} |
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gourdmad Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136Upper Ohio Valley |
last line is a play on the old joke with the punchline "You can't get there from here". Old enough to have grandchildren. |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
'knows his neighbor’s names' You didn't use any other pronouns describing the subject of the poem, which is what made it unique... why start now? I would drop 'his.' Hope I've helped. |
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gourdmad Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136Upper Ohio Valley |
that actually makes sense to me, dropping the "his" and replacing it with "the" or maybe even something else. tx |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
Very interesting read. Good suggestions as well. Thanks for sharing. Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com |
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croyles Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 102 |
I apparently, dont understand the poem. No punctuation, but thats not the reason why i dont get it, its easy to decrypt that way, but i just dont understand your thoughs. Ill read it through a few more times before leaving this page to see if your actually talking about more than a person who knows alot in his/her/your town (i did notice the absurd and cool alienation of your poem though), promise.  |
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gourdmad Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136Upper Ohio Valley |
Well, what I think it means is my opinion. It may mean something else to someone else. I can give a little of what I was trying to do. It is a conscious counter to the "Watching paint dry" and "Watching grass grow" cliches used by the jaded and blase to describe something as boring. Trying to say that joy can be found anywhere, implying that the fast paced oil fueled lifestyle with its constant stream of new bright and shiny things may not be the best way to happiness. |
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