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Untitled Sonnet (Drinking Challenge)
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Untitled Sonnet (Drinking Challenge) |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Would you stab me? Then why take dagger’s part To drown your sorrow with immortal tears, And, with pale bitters, thus besiege your heart With those who fell before, through all the years? For, in attempt to extirpate your pain, You can’t release your woe while taking toll On other parts, unless it be in vain. Kill not your heart nor slay redemption’s soul. For, in your desperate dispirit plead, Heed carefully, your inner voice be true, And not confuse it for the Devil’s greed. Hold back the dagger of the cutting brew With your subconscious burning soul desire, Dare not extinguish what burns bright, this fire. ______ ~Gene < !signature--> It often comes to me at night When lights are dim And thoughts are bright. As I ponder what to write, Take pen in hand and with it make My words appear as no mistake. Guided by a force unknown, I create a new and wondrous poem. ~Gene~ [This message has been edited by u_gene (edited 04-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Gene M. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
Oh wow! good one Gene...beautiful. how about Romanticising the Mead LOL. Jack |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Ah ! Great Gene ! Looks to me a challenge well met !  How about a poem about a weird Lady going out in Amsterdam ?  Let's see how close to the truth you can get....hehehe |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is a great sonnet, Gene! I love it! Denise |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Thanks all.  Munda, O.K. you asked for it.  ~Gene |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Wonderful, as usual.. This is very beautiful.. |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Gene, wow!! This is so good! I have never written a sonnet before....it must be so difficult! Any tips for me.... Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
You wrote this?????? This, my friend, is absolutely one of the most well crafted, well written pieces on these boards... Publish this! I stand and applaud! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
u_gene.... This is great!! Your theme is good, your rhyme scheme is perfectly Shakespearean.... and I am such a WENCH... whenever I see a sonnet, I automatically check the meter (and usually have to read twice because I miss the theme in the process)... You're one foot short in line 13 - It's iambic tetrameter instead of pentameter>....... Ducking the flying tomatoes now...  |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Angel -- Thanks much. ESP -- Thank you. Do a search on sonnets in the Poetry Workshop. Nan had a class on it. Here's a direct link to her explanation: /pip/Forum22/HTML/000042.html Basically, an English sonnet is 14 lines of iambic pentameter in 4 quadrains and the last two lines are a summation. Usually, you should start with a theme or problem and then around the 8th or 9th line, resolve it. The ryhming pattern is: ab,ab/cd,cd/ef,ef/gg --- Doreen -- Wow! I don't know what to say. Thank you so much--but I don't know anything about publishing. Nan -- Watch'ya talk'n 'bout? I see perfect iambic pentameter in line 13. ~Gene [This message has been edited by u_gene (edited 04-16-2000).] |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Gene, I am in admiration here over your talent, this is fabulous, of course I would never touch a Sonnet myself it would look like leftovers the dog deposited on the lawn...LOL |
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