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Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA

0 posted 2000-04-06 10:19 PM



5-7-5-7-7 5-7-5-7-7

One fights the other:
Light is stolen by the night,
night gives way to day.
Moon is eaten by the sun,
and a brand new day has come.
At first appearance:
Sum of one and one, is two,
but none as so rare,
sometimes the whole of the one,
is the sum of each other.


_______

~Gene~



© Copyright 2000 Gene M. - All Rights Reserved
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
1 posted 2000-04-06 11:19 PM


Gene, This is awesome, I love it, makes me want to try one, just what I need to do... I think I'm going crazy...LOL
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 2000-04-06 11:29 PM


There seems to be no limit to your talent, Gene! This is great!!

Gloria, go for it! You can do it!

Denise

childomine
Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL
3 posted 2000-04-07 07:08 AM


This IS awesome Gene.  

"Sometimes the whole of one,
is the sum of each other."

 ...Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is....
Black Eagle
Oglala Sioux holy man


Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
4 posted 2000-04-07 12:04 PM


Gene, WOW, this is great!

At first appearance:
Sum of one and one, is two,
but none as so rare,
sometimes the whole of the one,
is the sum of each other.

Did I say WOW? Dennis :^)

Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
5 posted 2000-04-07 03:49 PM


Gene this is awesome !   I've seen the birth of this and it's incredible what you did with it ! I'm in total awe !
Sasikat
Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290
St. Petersburg, FL
6 posted 2000-04-07 03:53 PM


Gene,

Exalting piece.  Absolutely great.

Sheila


 ...the earth and myself are of one mind. The measure of the land and the measure of our bodies are the same........... Joseph, Nez Perce Chief

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
7 posted 2000-04-07 05:15 PM


Awesome!! This is the second ever tanka I ever read...the first was Lost Dreamer's which gently directed me to yours in one of the replies.  I think I might try to write one...got any tips?

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
8 posted 2000-04-07 07:01 PM


Everyone,

Thank you for your gracious comments. I'm very pleased that you like this and deeply moved by your appreciation.


ESP,

A tanka is like a haiku but with an additional two lines of 7-7 syllable count. Tanka is more elaborate, expressing emotion and imagery and was considered more for the upper classes of Japanese where haiku was written mostly by the working class. Tanka can be combined to create poems of hundreds of lines and as typical should convey a zen-like message. In my tanka the message I tried to convey was one of an ancient zen saying, "One plus one is two, but sometimes, just one."  Only recently, have modern western physicists discovered this to be true.

quote:
It is now generally agreed that the earliest poems were songs, prayers, and incantations to gods. One tentacle of the spread of poetry has been traced from Persia to India, up to China and over to Japan. Even before the written records in Japan (760 AD) people spoke tanka to gods and in praise of the reigning monarchy. Tanka, with its 5-7-5-7-7 sound syllable count, its lofty ancestry, its shortness and ease for recall, became the favorite poetical form of the Japanese Imperial Court. And thus, both reached their highest popularity and brilliance during the same centuries — ninth to eleventh.


Do a search for tanka in th Poetry Workshop. Nan provided a lot of information there.

Also, follow this link to learn more about haiku and tanka: http://poetry.about.com/arts/poetry/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.toyoma  su.com/haiku

Have fun with it.
-----
~Gene



[This message has been edited by u_gene (edited 04-07-2000).]

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
9 posted 2000-04-08 04:44 AM


words can't adequately express how much i love this one...i think u have outdone even youself this time ") in fact,like those b4 me,i am going to try one out too....
keep those zen sayings coming!!! ")

INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
10 posted 2000-04-08 08:31 AM


All I can say U_Gene is OUTSTANDING.  The rest leave me speachless.

Thank you for including your additional information concerning Tanka.  I prefer both Tanka and Haiku as poetic styles because they force one to chose words carefully.

INclan

Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
11 posted 2000-04-10 01:28 PM


Too good to disappear already. BUMP !
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
12 posted 2001-01-16 09:06 AM


high time for a comeback and u_gene, i missed your zen tankas so...
bestgirl911
Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551
Clio, MI , United We Stand
13 posted 2001-01-16 09:42 AM


Gene....

Though I have never attempted to write a tanka, reading this amazing piece made me want to pick up my pen and start...although it would never come close to the wonderful work here. Great Job!

Best

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
14 posted 2001-01-16 01:40 PM


Wow I liked this one a lot. Wonderful job here!


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
15 posted 2001-01-16 04:22 PM



Wow!  Very clever of you!  I know how difficult it can be to write just one tanka, but two together?!  Wow again!  Well expressed  

Take care,
Melissa


The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams



Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
16 posted 2001-01-16 04:30 PM


Kaile, Best, Dopey_Dope, Melissa,

This one's pretty old, but I still appreciate all your kind words.

Thanks,
Gene

pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
17 posted 2001-01-16 04:36 PM


old huh?..like fine wine, it gets better with age...great read..I bow to a master..

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


kcsgrandma
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME
18 posted 2001-01-16 11:18 PM


                                          sometimes the whole of the one,
                                            is the sum of each other.
____________________________

I have read these lines over and over, Gene.  I'm not well-versed in Zen, but I do like this thought!  Nicely done tanka!

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
19 posted 2001-01-17 03:23 AM


since i want to read the replies but the computer wont let me do so , i will bump this up again....

as i read this again, i have an idea about joy and grief being interchangeable....rather fuzzy idea but will work on it?

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
20 posted 2001-01-17 08:04 PM


This is so incredibly exquisite....and I almost missed it!  Wonderful tanka and the history lesson very enlightening.. Ellie

A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails.

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