»
Archives
»
The Corner Pub
»
the hesitant resident.....(pantoum)
| The Corner Pub |
|
the hesitant resident.....(pantoum) |
|
|
Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA 
|
something walks these halls tonight while residents sleep in shadowed beds I'm caught up in this terrible plight from where are evil demons led while residents sleep in shadowed beds we conjure up our deathly dreams from where are evil demons led with footsteps cold and ghostly screams we conjure up our deathly dreams 'neath covers 'mongst the darkened rooms with footsteps cold and ghostly screams outside a door, impending doom 'neath covers 'mongst the darkened rooms cold shivers bash at frozen spines outside a door, impending doom taps bone to wood for flesh to dine cold shivers bash at frozen spines a ghoulish feast will soon be took taps bone to wood for flesh to dine as through the door I take a look a ghoulish feast will soon be took I'm caught up in this terrible plight as through the door I take a look something walks these halls tonight [This message has been edited by Packratmike (edited 05-04-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Mike Powers - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Good grief, get the heck out of there. I'm not crazy about becoming someones feast while I sleep. Liked the way this was written and how it flowed. |
||
|
Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Thank you inot2B. In this one, I tried to be vague about who the narrator is....the eator or the eatee.*G* I wanted it to be read both ways if possible. I think it works. Mike |
||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I like the repetition. Makes it the more ghoulish. I don't want to go there. Joyce |
||
|
~DreamChild~ Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544in your dreams |
poe-tic, indeed. quite morbid. worthy of the ranks of poe himself. thanks. |
||
|
coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Mike, this has superb form and substance. I'm not familiar with all of the classic styles, but this looks like it would be an exemplary Pantoum or variant. Regardless, it is excellent. Thanks.  "The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty." coyote [This message has been edited by coyote (edited 05-06-2001).] |
||
|
Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Joyce...thanks for commenting...I feel the repetition makes it a little bit more like one of those nightmares one gets stuck in and can't escape. DC...thank you for the nice remarks. I like to get away from the sweet stuff every so often.*S* coyote...thank you very much...glad you liked it. I hoped to raise a couple of goosebumps with this one.*S* Mike |
||
|
Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
Mike, What do you mean "this might not be my genre" this is right up my alley - Love Poe and read him to my kids all the time. This is terrific. And a suspenseful read to the end. A perfect Halloween piece. May I copy this for next Halloweens ghoulish mental repast?? I can't wait for my kids and their kids to hear this. Actually, I will be taping it to them. Yes, this is wonderful. I have one question tho - in this line from where are evil demons led is the are s/b are or is it s/b our? Just wondering. Panne |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
