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coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077


0 posted 2001-03-31 10:11 AM


"Boxes"

We don’t talk as much these days
My sweet Love and I
She has her television


I have my cyber places
We should break this bond
To boxes of distraction

[This message has been edited by coyote (edited 03-31-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 coyote - All Rights Reserved
Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
1 posted 2001-03-31 10:25 AM


This happens, but as long as one neither is unhappy, it works.  Joyce
coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

2 posted 2001-03-31 10:38 AM


5-7-5 is hard.
7-5-7 is easier.

I liked the theme and wrote it backwards.  

And happy they are, Joyce.
Thanks.  

"The poet is the priest of the invisible."
Wallace Stevens

kcsgrandma
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522
Presque Isle, ME
3 posted 2001-03-31 12:10 PM


  So you invent your own form, and it works. They are distracting, these boxes. Please don't anyone take mine away though!

To love another person is to see the face of God.
- Les Miserables

Marilyn

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

4 posted 2001-03-31 12:17 PM


Thanks, Marilyn.
I hope they don't either.
We would miss your company.
Glad you think it works.  

"The only thing new in the world, is the history we don't know."
Harry S. Truman

wordancer
Senior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 809
VA
5 posted 2001-03-31 12:38 PM


Coyote,  true thoughts on how we can get tied up in our boxes of distraction, I really like the concept behind this one.  Great that you are looking at the haiku form, you will find that you will really enjoy it and they are quite addicting.  

BTW the correct form for using the Americanized form of haiku is the 5,7,5 format.

A lot of Americans who write haiku follow the traditional Japanese format, three lines consisting of 5,7,5 syllables respectively. But in the Japanese language it is not syllables that are counted, but sound symbols, which in reality makes the American haiku a bit too long.  And actually Japanese poets do not count syllables, they count onji which means sound symbols and refers to one of the phonetic characters used in writing Japanese phonetic script. Approximately 12 English syllables best duplicates the length of Japanese haiku in the traditional form of 17 onji.

Bill Higginson goes into detail about this in his: The Haiku Handbook, Chapter 8, The Form of Haiku. BTW: His handbook is a superior reference source for haiku. The Haiku Handbook, How to Write, Share, and Teach Haiku, by William J. Higginson, with Penny Harter; First Kodansha International, 1989 (No, I don't get a kickback from him, LOL. He is considered one of the best haiku experts in the world, and I'm a great admirer of his.)

Guess, I'm saying haiku does not have to follow the strict 5,7,5 syllable count that we have fallen into thinking that it is the only rule for haiku. I, personally, started with it a couple of years ago and still use it sometimes. There are many great haiku in this format. With this in mind, I don't feel syllable count (and I don't count syllables any more as a rule) is as important as getting the haiku to be effective and saying exactly what you want to say in it, capturing that "ah-ha" moment, in other words, in a short concise thought.

And do bear in mind there are other criteria that makes a haiku, beside the syllable count.  It just depends how deep into the form you want to go.

Here is a link to a really nice self-study haiku site.  In the Moonlight a Worm

Also a link to the haiku section of the dmoz search engine which only gives quality sites that have been screened.  Wonderful Haiku Sites


-wordancer



coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

6 posted 2001-03-31 12:50 PM


Thanks, wordancer.
I will check this out, ASAP!
I do enjoy laconic expression.
I have also found that what is beautiful in another language, is often difficult to translate into our own.
Latin and Greek come to mind.
Do you read Japanese?  


"The only thing new in the world, is the history we don't know."
Harry S. Truman

wordancer
Senior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 809
VA
7 posted 2001-03-31 01:19 PM


No, I don’t read Japanese, although I wish I did…hum, another item to put in my book of things to do.  

Now, if you really do get into haiku or are just interested I can give you a reading list. (or anyone else that that wants it)

There is one book that is called Basho and his Interpreters, Selected Hokku with Commentary; Compiled, Translated, and with an Introduction by Makoto Ueda. Stanford University Press, 1992, that was highly recommended to me  for its quality translations and commentaries.  The haiku are presented in Japanese, with a literal translation and a refined English translation, quite interesting reading.

Anyway the sites I gave you will keep you quite busy for sometime. . .do remember to come up for air if you get sucked in.      

-wordancer


[This message has been edited by wordancer (edited 03-31-2001).]

2dalimit
Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
8 posted 2001-03-31 08:06 PM


Leave each BOX alone
Each have an On and an Off
Do things together


Melton

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

9 posted 2001-03-31 08:44 PM


Thanks, Melton.

Good advice.  

"The only thing new in the world, is the history we don't know."
Harry S. Truman

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
10 posted 2001-03-31 11:47 PM


Nicely done......I liked it.


coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

11 posted 2001-04-01 12:04 PM


Thanks, Dopey.
For stoppin' by.
Welcome back to the Pub.  

"The only thing new in the world, is the history we don't know."
Harry S. Truman

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