The Corner Pub |
I Heard You Knocking |
Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
I could say that Spring was a flutter But I know that you've heard that before Instead I'll just say I heard it knocking A Red Headed Speckled Woodpecker Came gliding past my window Bolding perching within my view Just as I started for the camera He just flew away Oh well I thought, I'll get his pic Some other day No, I thought.. As I slid in the film Why not go outside To see if he's still around So with my camera in hand I took a morning stroll Without even a sweater And sandals on my feet I walked around looking For the creature that had Awakened my curiosity Their was a chorus of Birds on the wing Flitting and fluttering Singing songs most serene The air had a scent of mint julep and pine I found myself wandering Insanely senseless down a red muddy road After hearing the gentle knocking On the wood of an old snarled Oak tree I could see in the distance Those red, black and white creatures way up In its branches Gathering their breakfast So diligently Beholding the beauty Of their colors so supreme With the eye of my camera I took aim God bless you my friends God bless your tree God give you a family And I thank him for thee. |
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© Copyright 2001 Marcia Estep - All Rights Reserved | |||
pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
really lovely Songbird..we have the little darlings here in my neighborhood too.. should be showing up anytime now.. the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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laryalee Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352Alberta, Canada |
Songbird, you take us by the hand for this fresh morning walk - with a lilting sense of appreciation and joy - so nice to share it with you! Lary |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
this is delightful my friend, I so appreciate you love of nature...Ellie A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
What a lovely walk! This is still weeks in the future for us, but it's nice to think it will be coming... someday! Thanks. To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables Marilyn |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Fun, exciting story. I don't have a real handle on what is considered narrative poetry, but this to me seems more like prose. Have you thought of putting it in prose format? But don't go by me, talk to someone who knows if narrative poetry needs to take a certain form and if it is to have rhythm, etc. You've captured the experience and anticipation well. |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Oh to be able to go outside in sandals Songbird!!!! Right now I'm still up to my knees in snow....but this beautiful poem has given me hope that it WILL melt and the birds will return and...spring IS just around the corner...right???? Bonnie |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
This is wonderful! I am sooooooo ready for spring, so this is a most delightful read. Deb |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Well I am glad I gave you guys up North some hope!! I am not sure about the difference between a prose narrative and free style poetry. I just kind of have a rythum in my head as I write, and if it rhymes ok if not I leave it as is. Nature is my favorite theme, especially the birds, I am a birdlover from way back. I even have birds in my house, two lovebirds and a parakeet! Birds are usually cheerful and I love their songs. Keep warm my friends.. spring is coming!! |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Ahh yes...beautiful pictures you pen. Geesh...In your words, I've found treasure. I shall keep reading. still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Dear Songbird, How did I miss this? It is lovely. I have no woodpeckers, except once in a while a little downy woodpecker, not colorful. But I love him. joyce |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Lovely poem! We have several kinds of woodpeckers here in North Idaho. The largest is the pileated woodpecker, that is about 14 inches tall and beautifully marked. When they start drilling holes, you know it! We had snow here today, and no woodpeckers in sight! Betty Lou Hebert |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
I've never seen a woodpecker, but this poem surely is beautiful.. ^_^ One suggestion, you seem to be rather fond of the word "just".. I think perhaps the poem would feel a little better, without quite so many just's. A thought only, of course.. I certainly enjoyed this.. such a wonderful scene you set, and I wish I could see it too.. Love, Lynne |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Yu Lan I believe your critique was "justly" deserved! When I rewrite it I will take the first one out.. |
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