The Corner Pub |
![]() ![]() |
Cupid's Dance |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
When you walked in on the night of the festival, the elders were holding council in the hallway, solemn and vigilant in their duties, as they whispered in their native tongue. With every unexpected white flash, they collected the souls of each self-conscious couple, before granting their passage through the gymnasium door. Inside, a tribe of pimply-faced boys, sprouting from worn out church jackets, were rooted in their heavy boots, near a line of girls in pink and red chiffon, pasted like paper valentines along the wall. Though we'd never met, your blue eyes claimed me, and your brilliant smile, like an offering to the gods, was the one I’ve always dreamed of. Static hidden in the folds of my dress, shot a cascade of black pearls out onto the dance floor, and I nested in your soft hair and imagined they were kisses. We buckled and swayed to an ancient waltz, breathless, two hearts beating like ritual drums, keeping time with grim determination. Our youth condemned us as strangers, to this primitive custom, but the pulse of the music became our mantra, and instinctively, we understood every word. Laughing foolishly with each misstep we clung tightly to one another, and allowed our youthful spirit to dance on, in perfect rhythm to an age-old ballad that only we could hear. . [This message has been edited by Debbie (edited 01-16-2001).] |
||
© Copyright 2001 Deborah L. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Debbie, This is absolutely beautiful! ![]() ~Gene |
||
Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Thanks Gene, I know it's a little abstract, but I wanted it to be something to chew on for awhile. I hoped that the theme on the surface(awkward teens, chaperones, picture-taking) would only be the first layer and that uncovering the second would be somewhat of a challenge! Thanks for your reply, Debbie |
||
pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
what do you say about such a vibrant work about teen age relationships?...BRAVO!! that's what! ![]() the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
||
bestgirl911 Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551Clio, MI , United We Stand |
Debbie... I loved this... Laughing foolishly with each misstep we clung tightly to one another and allowed our youthful spirit to dance on, in perfect rhythm to an age-old ballad that only we could hear. young at heart, that's what matters. Best |
||
Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Debbie, What's abstract? I think it's obvious (to me anyway) that this is about getting back to your roots, but feeling like an outsider, like an awkward teen at his/her first dance, but the rhythmns of the music brought you back in touch with hidden memories. The blue-eyed boy who walked in was the outside world uniting with yours. Well, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but that's how I see it. Actually I see a great deal more...much more than the second level. Gene |
||
Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Pegasus111, Thank-you for your great reply, coming from a poet like yourself, I am honored! Bestgirl, That stanza can be interpreted in a couple of different ways. I like your interpretation! Gene, Your interpretation is great too! Thank-you for your words of support, they are greatly appreciated! |
||
Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Bravo! I love this!!! |
||
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Debbie, anoter great poem floated from your pen. Loved it! ![]() |
||
Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
BWA and Munda, Thank-you! I know that there are a few changes to be made, including changing the line "nesting in your hair" to "resting in your hair" LOL! but I appreciate your support and value your comments! Your words of encouragement motivate me to keep trying! |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |