The Corner Pub |
dominoes |
wordancer Senior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 809VA |
Revision: Well now, I going to admit I have tendency to post too quickly when I’m writing…and I see I did it again. but then again, a lot of times by seeing it on the screen it reads different...strange, perhaps the color contrast...also by the replies I get,I can see what I actually wrote, and that this original post not quite what I wanted. I also wanted to play on the other meaning of domino too, and it appears it was not very clear, or perhaps too deep in the other version or perhaps I just imagine I had it there...just got to love writing in the wee hours of the morning!!!!! dominoes all those years in a row dominoes so rigidly stands the night that waits does it matter what position you hold in a row of the endless falsehoods blanks eyes masquerade lying in disguise dot-to-dot all those years dominoes touch of fate clickly-clack reality crashes down the row serpentine surrender of upended darkness to wait for the first fall as you play for all those years dominoes The original version: all those years in a row dominoes so rigidly stands the night that waits does it matter what end you stand on in a row all those years dominoes touch of fate clickly-clack reality crashes down the row serpentine surrender of upended darkness to wait for the first fall as you play for all those years dominoes "Come...dance with me, into my world of words." [This message has been edited by wordancer (edited 01-02-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Beverly A. Tift - All Rights Reserved | |||
pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
oh my..such hopelessness felt here..is life really so mechanical? what thoughts... you make my head ache.. the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
wordancer, the title pulled me in and i had an idea i was going to like this one... i enjoyed the sentiments here...it made me think and i do believe standing which end of the row does make a difference...i am a fighter and even if i am a domino, i will choose to stand on the far end, cos i wont want to be taken down that fast and that easily.... forgive my ramblings but that was a good poem of yours |
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wordancer Senior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 809VA |
peg & kaile, thanks for your responses, I can see that I did't quite take this where it wanted to go. Two completely different directions...perhaps I should title them Domino I and Domino II... -wordancer [This message has been edited by wordancer (edited 01-02-2001).] |
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Quiet One Junior Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 46Shhhhh |
You think you know those around you, but all you know is whats on the surface, there for all to see, but truth be known ... the longer and better we know someone the harsher the reality hits when we discover there's 'no fool like an old fool' |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
You're right, I don't see the second meaning of dominoes in the original version. I do think it's a bit easier to follow the revised version, too. Nice write, and thanks for the explanation and the comparison. It's good to see how others work. To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables Marilyn |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
bravo........wonderful thoughts on this one! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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wordancer Senior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 809VA |
Hello quiet one, it does sound like you have been well-burned... Dopey, thanks kcsgrandma...I too enjoy learning how other people put their words together, and I'm so glad I pull myself out of bed for this one, before it got away. |
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