The Corner Pub |
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When I'm Down There |
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
What if I felt like you wouldn't want to That I couldn't call back whatever I dealt to you Maybe I'm the rock rolling highspeed on the pavement That blasts your forehead in cold sweat in the basement When you look up and see the white strips streak by Undercarriage rider, hear the bridge on creeks cry What if I felt like you would turn away Let go of your hold and go your own way Like flesh to the bone and you said it first I say undertone to prevent my outburst Shall I look at the sun and its beauty inhale Or throw it my heart so destined to fail I'll fall a broken torso at ninety an hour And be the passing roadsign; the onside flower What if I felt like a deadend was there Lingering and looming in still evening air I need of you my outlet within A hand to place me where I should begin I'm gone in my words, you're standing behind me Yeah I feel you, and I'm glad you could find me |
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© Copyright 2000 Wobbly Head Bob - All Rights Reserved | |||
pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
your couplets are tight and flow like fine wine..lovely piece.. the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
Wow, I guess I never thought of it like that before, *L* Thanks for reading and replying! |
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Swamp¤Faeryie Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393fairyland....of course;) |
i really enjoyed this one. it has a mixed up vague kind of you just wrote what you were thinking,not really paying attention,but still bothering to get the rhythm perfect. very interesting,reallyliked it. sam "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven,thou "i said" art sure no craven." Ghastly grim and ancient raven,wandering from the nightly shore,tell me what |
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
Swamp - Actually thats exactly what I did, sometimes things hit you so fast that if you don't just jot it down its gone, so I let fingers do the walking so to speak, glad you liked it and took the time to respond! ![]() |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Hmm.. I enjoyed the way this flowed, and how you just let the thoughts come out. Made me stop and think for a bit... ![]() |
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