The Corner Pub |
dr.'s bills and bandages |
kid D Member
since 2000-10-18
Posts 64 |
after you left, i, somewhat unwhole, tried to step back into my own but incompletely executed the deed. i found out why as i spied my shadow slipping secretively after you coaxing memories, penning the past with sappy ink dribbling "...toast's to used to be" and "i will meet you on the sun..." and what i really should do is kick my shadow straight in the butt- (i mean really, unless you plan to self combust, who sits on the sun except in a corny poem anyway?) gurney the painfully burned thing to the hospital and when the bandages finally come off, with dr.'s bill in hand my shadow and i, reality will face, because dr. bills and bandages are real and you aren't coming back. [This message has been edited by kid D (edited 11-13-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 kid D - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great. I love the style of the poem and the ending of it made a huge impact on me. I'm in awe I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
very well done..the analogy was great. the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very good, Kid! I enjoyed this! Denise |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
So, this is the not so "nice" version, eh? Well, may be, but it certainly does have a good edge to it, and we can all use a dose of reality sometimes. And those used to bes do leave wounds, don't they? I think I prefer this one. To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables Marilyn |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Oh this is so good! I loved your form and the words, full of great images! Terrific reality check for all those who need to "get over it" and get on with life! |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
This is great........and original....nice style. Jon |
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kid D Member
since 2000-10-18
Posts 64 |
Dopey_Dope, thank you, no one has ever been in awe of me before pegasus111 and dsnyder thank you much kcsgrandma...yep, and sometimes we cover over the wounds instead of actually healing, guess its not easy though...who wants to hurt? thanks for your comments Debbie thanks really glad you liked it Jon Mewett well, guess that's what's so nice about pip, all the different styles of poetry we get to enjoy...i think i like your "original" comment, thank you much |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Yep, now this is good.. this is really good. I can feel it, it's powerful, and vivid.. I really like your style, kid D.. It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold. |
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