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a mask is destroyed
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a mask is destroyed |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... 
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Catopsis Her piercing eyes stab to the core rip his careful mask away. He sobs naked his cultivated disguise dismantled and discarded. Her eyes pin him like bug with needle hidden inner, exposed. Mask so carefully constructed, crafted, beloved ripped away as nothing. Her anger flares lovingly she cuts, then hugs surgery sometimes necessary. Hidden him emerges kicking and screaming torn into the light of day. Her eyes smile, flashing encouragement, encouragement mask destroyed, garbage. He sighs with the loss exploring virgin face his real smile emerges. “Catopsis- n. morbidly keen vision” bleeding... "Tis ink coming from his arm, Captain!" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Wow, Daniel~ This is powerful stuff ! I would have to admit that I was headed for the dictionary for catopsis, when you laid it as the footnote. My really favorite line is - 'He sobs naked' Oh, my ... that says so much. Such vunerability portrayed. Thanks for sharing this. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... |
thanks Marge! Really appreciate your imput! lol i was thinking that the title would cause some dictionary frenzy...why i added the defination. What do you think...start a new trend? Vocabulary mixed with poetry? he he he thanks again, bleeding... "Tis ink coming from his arm, Captain!" |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very well written, Daniel! Denise |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
daniel- i have to agree with marge. this is extremely powerful. i like the vocab/poetry mix. will make sure to have my dictionary handy the next time i read your work...lol.  great write. -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Well put...and  I hope his mask stays gone with her help.  With a little piece of tomorrow, You'll have to kiss yesterday goodbye. Because today won't last forever, And the past will only make you cry. |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
In a way chilling......powerful indeed. Jon |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... |
Thanks all! appreciate the critque, Denise you always see the inner poem. Does the vocab/poetry work, Vicki? i was concerned with the combo being labeled as a gimick... hey BWA...we can only hope, eh? Jon...yeah dude it kinda scared me too! appreciate the imput, guys! bleeding... "Tis ink coming from his arm, Captain!" |
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