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Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

0 posted 2000-08-11 05:02 AM

Joy

Her feet
Have a mind of their own;
She goes
Where they carry her,
As fast
As they would take her.
The wind in her face
Whips tears from her eyes,
But her laughter rings loud,
Carried by the breath
Of the forest.
Flash of sky,
Blur of trees,
All she sees,
As feet race nimbly
Over uneven ground.
As she reaches the clearing,
She quietly sits,
Her hunger
Is satisfied.
Her feet are bloodied,
Arms are torn,
But she is happy;
This is her joy.

-Wrote this a while ago.. I had to make a few alterations before I showed y'all tho.. *_^

-Lynne

Jon Mewett
Senior Member

since 2000-03-04

Posts 1304

1 posted 2000-08-11 11:15 AM

This is very mystical and entrancing Yu Lan

very nice

Jon

Alle'cram
Senior Member

since 2000-02-28

Posts 1816
Texas

2 posted 2000-08-11 06:40 PM

Lynne, This is wonderful. Very expressive and so well written. I love it. Marcy

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

3 posted 2000-08-11 06:50 PM

Very interesting poem, a new perspective for me. It's great

jamesjiao
Member

since 2000-04-12

Posts 268
Backwaters of Avalon

4 posted 2000-08-11 10:31 PM

You know what I am going to say Lynne, as I always would. but just one thing, this is a good poem for rhyme. so if you rhyme it, then it would probably get another touch to its already-beautifully-written verses.

- James
The beauty of nature is displayed,
not through itself,
but through the creatures
dwelling within its bosom.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

5 posted 2000-08-12 11:24 AM

YuLan~
I could sense the sheer 'joy' in this piece.
Very well done.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

6 posted 2000-08-12 08:10 PM

Thank you Jon! Marcy! Lakewalker! ^_^
James, rhyme? AAH! hehe, I have extreme dificulty rhyming poetry.. I've never actually succeeded in writing anything but nonsense rhymes, in rhyming.. :P
Thank you Marge!

Well.. I am not sure if this poem expresses what I wanted too.. always felt like a disappointment to me, even though I quite liked it.. it's purpose, wasn't really achieved..

Thank you all.. too kind, hehe.. ^_^

Love,
Lynne

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