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Morning Rain. . .
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Morning Rain. . . |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA 
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morning rain falls lonely heart calls echoing these halls shaking these walls sad voice calls wandering the halls pounding the walls afternoon rain falls pacing the halls climbing the walls night rain falls quiet soul calls tearing the walls morning rain falls scared body calls running the halls single tear falls returning love calls filling the halls shattering these walls ------------------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
The repetition of the rhyme scheme works very well with this subject matter. Well done, Sven! Denise |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Good work, Sven! Elizabeth I'm grabbing my hat and coat I'm leaving the cat a note Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town! |
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kelieth Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 314Normal IL - USA |
Great Job. I look forward to reading more.  Kevin "Anything is possible with patience, time is the tool use it to reach your goals." |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
 Hmm..You've managed to leave me speechless for a few moments.. I really, really like this. Wonderful job.I awake to a world I don't want. There is no transition for me. I am in heaven. I am in hell. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
LOL,Sven,this is creativity and originality in its finest!! A pat on your shoulder pls  |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Sven, I also liked the repeating lines much. One thing leads to another in this poem. Nice! Joy Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old time is still a-flying, And this same flower that smiles today To-morrow will be dying. -Robert Herrick |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
a great poem I love the use of the four words walls calls etc. in different context. wonderful. A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
This is a little darker then most of your work. Written from heart for sure. Marina It is blessing to have wings for your words, and passion to flow from pen. Marina Crossley |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Thank you all my friends. . . this one just kind of fell into place. . . it's funny how that will happen sometimes. . . Thank you. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very nicely done |
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