The Corner Pub |
Hamilton, TX 12:05am |
Jonas Senior Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 796Oregon |
Hamilton, TX 12:05am Waves of thunder roll over a sleeping town A blinking red light sways in the winds casting it's eerie glow across darkened buildings closed for the night Forming blood red pools on the rain slicked roads Streetlights are few But here and there the blue glow of a TV screen filters through open windows Their muted sounds carried away by the rain Two blocks away a truck passes through town The wail of it's horn briefly shattering the stillness A forlorn sound, lonely One house, lights still on inside a writer sits Contemplating the portrait of a small, quiet town on a Saturday night © 5/28/00 Gary Pence |
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© Copyright 2000 Gary - All Rights Reserved | |||
Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
You transported me to Texas in a manner of a few well chosen words. Like the feel of this poem, sort of errie and lonely, deep inside the writer's mind. Keep writing, hope to see more. |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
This feels different to me somehow from your other work Gary. I like the way you present the portrait then come around to the writer comtemplating that very portrait - kind of like a picture inside a picture (if you understand what I'm trying to say). This is very good. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
oh this has a wonderful feel to it..great imagery (sp?)! and i love the idea of peering into a house at night to see a writer doing what he does best.. enjoyed the read! "A Poet's life is on written page; a scenario to take the stage--watch..." dgvarner |
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patricianne Member
since 2000-05-04
Posts 66 |
This is great! So much like all those small towns I've been in. The truck really clenched it, sort of replaced those lonely old train whistles. Enjoyed very much. |
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Jonas Senior Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 796Oregon |
Septsong - Thank you! That is high praise indeed! childomine - yes, this is a bit different for me. I was raised in a town much larger than the one I am currently living in. So to be honest, I have always found small town to be a bit surreal...and I tried to incorporate subtle hints of that quality in this one. dgvarner - Thank you...I too am intrigued by the same vision as you are. patricianne - Thank you for the comment! I would have rather used a train whistle, but the town's RR station was turned into a car lot in early 40's. LOL! |
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Swåmp¤Faerÿie Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 358Illinois |
This is really VERY interesting...i love it!! it's so unique i love the way you describe the quiet and the reflections of the pavement!! WONDERFUL swampie And there she weaves by night and day, a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
A great snapshot and well written the mood is nicely created,you can feel this poem. jon |
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Jana Tovey Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257USA |
Great descriptions, mental images come immediately, and I can recall that lonely sound of a passing truck's horn...good insight into the author, too, who takes such care to recreate treasured small town scenes. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Gary! I enjoyed this very much! Denise |
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Jonas Senior Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 796Oregon |
Thank you very much everyone I am glad you enjoyed reading! |
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