Old Camper - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

patricianne
Member

since 2000-05-04

Posts 66

0 posted 2000-05-23 03:01 PM

Here is a little poem that has several meanings, and I hope you like. However, I would welcome some critiques and ideas to make it better.

Old Camper

Here I sit-
tired, ignored.

Seen many miles,
could see more.

They say I'm retired,
meaning-useless,old.

A veteran of life's highways,
Stories to tell, no one listens.

If only they had seen me in my glory,
these busy, younger generations.

Please, take time to hear me. Let's go!

[This message has been edited by patricianne (edited 05-24-2000).]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-05-23 03:49 PM

I like this Patricianne! The only thing I would change would be 'lifes'. It needs an apostrophe. Older folks have a wealth of wisdom and entertainment in their stories. It is a shame when others don't take the time to listen.

Denise

patricianne
Member

since 2000-05-04

Posts 66

2 posted 2000-05-23 05:43 PM

Thank you,dsnyder, for the comment. My punctuation skills are poor, does the ' go before or after the s in lifes?

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

3 posted 2000-05-23 06:32 PM

I liked your poem, sorry I am not good at telling people what's right or wrong, I'm no expert myself. I love to hear the stories older people have to tell, I think they are very inspiring. I might be a minority but I think older people are precious.

patricianne
Member

since 2000-05-04

Posts 66

4 posted 2000-05-23 07:39 PM

Enjoyed the replys, and I agree that our older people are precious. They have so much to share. I also wrote this poem about an old camper that we bought and are renovating. As we tore out walls, etc, we realized there had been a fire and I found myself thinking about what stories this camper could tell, and if it could feel, how it felt about being abandoned for many years. "Old" is usually treasured in our society, it seems.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

5 posted 2000-05-23 08:27 PM

...and now I like it even more after your revealing the inspiration for this poem! It can be interpreted either way! The apostrophe goes between the e and the s !

Denise

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.