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2 for 1 |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Hi, I don't post very often, but what do you think of these thoughts? 13 STEPS TO GO As I sat behind those walls, I realized I broke society’s laws. Now, I regret what I have done. And that I never saw my son. It was a long, long time ago, What can I say? I was young and running scared, When I took man’s life away. And after all these years of heartaches and tears, I deserve no respect. The scaffold is built, the noose hangs loose, And will soon be around my neck. I’m so old, tired, and cold. I have only thirteen steps to go. LONELY and BLIND If I had no sight, Can I still see, All the things that are around me? Can I see a tall green tree, Can I see a little fish in the sea, Can I see the birds and the bees, Can I see my baby look back at me? These are the things that are told to me. If I had no sight, Can I still see, All the things that are around me? Can I see what is alive, Can I see what will survive, Can I see the rain feed a flower, Can I see the wind and what it devours? These are things that are told to me. If I had no sight, Can I still see, All the things that are around me? Can I see the hurt that’s in my heart, Can I see the pain when we’re apart, Can I see depression when you’re gone, Can I see that I have no song? These are the things I see in me. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Melton Culberth - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
13 Steps sounded more like Dead Man Walking, but very strong indeed full of regret and mourning. The other was neatly done, I liked it too, and now I have to wonder if I'd be able to see all those things, but first ask if you can see them now? Or do you just know its there? I liked these a lot, but could've worked better had you posted them seperately really liked 'em though! |
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patricianne Member
since 2000-05-04
Posts 66 |
Hi, I thought the first one was well done, though dark and foreboding. It seemed very real. The second one was a delight. Does make one think about what we pay attention to. I also liked the form of it.  |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Hi Melton For me these seem to sit nicely together. I like them a lot. Sought of desperate. jon [This message has been edited by Jon Mewett (edited 05-16-2000).] |
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Casonova Junior Member
since 2000-04-29
Posts 35Mays Landing |
I liked them both, well done. "Applause" Casonova |
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