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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
The candle radiates its flame The flickering feelings ..They call my name My kaleidoscope thoughts jumping unseen Blurring my mind like an old fashioned movie screen The faltering step Hesitatingly took The smouldering kiss The simmering look The sly fleeting glance The slow sensual dance The walk to the park The passion so dark My own awkwardness Your silk crumpled dress The stars hanging bright The love foaming night The cold mocking moon The sun rising soon My thoughts in a drift The cold lonely lift The collar turned up My lone coffee cup The walk to my flat The black crossing cat The slow turning key Are you thinking of me? The bare unmade bed My sad throbbing head The door on the latch The last single match And now the next night With soft candle light The scenes rushing by on cracked cellulose The cinema empty the kiosk I close |
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© Copyright 2000 Jon Mewett - All Rights Reserved | |||
Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
I really enjoyed this read, your rhyme was on time (no pun intended there), and I especially liked the use of same first letter words (I know there's a term for that but its beyond me), like the few lines with a lot of "s" words, making the lines a bit more sinister, or sensual...very cool indeed. The "crossing cat" HA! Story of my life, again thanks for the read! |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Thanx Bob. Jon |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This is so neat the way you wrote it. Your excellent display of words flickered like a candle, real sparkling. |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
I can only ditto the above. A wonderful poem expressed very well! Alicia A. Renzelman |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Enjoyed this immensely Jon. The flow is great - kept my eyes transfixed to the poem. Very good. |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Had me reading till the end. Excellent rhyme, everything wrapped up together and the result was a present, a wonderful poem. Joy |
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Wikket Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340Santa Clara, CA USA |
Jon, Thank you for this...it was a wonderful read. Very smooth flow and enticing topic! Great job! ~~Jamie "I keep breaking all the promises That I keep making to myself You'd think by now that I'd be over this Instead I'm feeling sorry for myself So why does everything seem desperate now? I should be feeling so alive But it feels like something's missing Something's wrong somehow It feels like something deep inside has died..." --Stabbing Westward |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
The Master writes again...good poem Jon. For some reason a black and white image of the private eye and his girl comes to mind...trenchcoat and Fedora...Hmmm. Jack |
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