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hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271


0 posted 2000-02-04 12:02 PM


At The Gate

Guns, Rockets, and manifestos of death
of all these things you ain't seen nothin' yet
The day shall come when the sky blazes in red
earthquakes rumble with massive storms overhead
To the murders, thieves, and adulters alike
When he comes on that day you'll be far from alright
At his feet judgements forever, ignorant man thinks passiage is due
He'll look down with tears and say "depart from me, i never knew you"
And on this day all heaven filled with sadness
For it has lost uncountable souls to this world of madness
I say to you carefull not to possess lust, greed, dishonor, or hate
Cause on this one day, it'll be you answering at the gate
---Written by:Hoppy


9-9-99


 NEW POETRY FORUM NOW OPEN


"If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity."

SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE.
NEW POETRY FORUM ADDED

Don't look... you might see.
Don't listen... you might hear.
Don't think... you might learn.
Don't walk... you might stumble.
Don't run... you might fall.
Don't make a decision... you might be wrong.
Don't live...you might die.

THE PAGE OF PURE POETIC EXPRESSION!!



© Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved
Vincent Spaulding
Member
since 2000-01-16
Posts 59

1 posted 2000-02-04 07:17 AM


Powerful message that folks too often ignore today.  But it contains several misspellings,  and I believe that you could make the lines tighter.  Have someone else read it to you, and you'll hear the places they stumble on the rhythm.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
2 posted 2000-02-04 11:17 AM


WELCOME!  Powerful words!  Not just the muderers but preachers that decieved also. Though the judgement is a good thing and a bad thing. For those who've overcome, it means reward!
Willem
Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 139
Inverness, FL, USA
3 posted 2000-02-04 04:13 PM


Hi, Hoppy!  I like your apocalyptic poem,
ut I won't call it powerful or beautiful, as
those words are really overworked on
forums like this one. It's very descriptive
and issues a stern warning to those that
need it, which means all of us...

That additional "poem", telling us not to do
all those things should be followed by a lot
of smileys, though.  Are we supposed not to
use our eyes, ears, brains, legs, power of
(non-racial) discrimination and will to live?
If that were so, God would have constructed
robots rather than created Adam and Eve!  

Willem

hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271

4 posted 2000-02-04 04:23 PM


thanks for all your responces, i'm gonna try to fix it up a little and post it again later on.   but to II Corinthians (not sure which verse) but it states quiet straitforward what will and will not be acceptable to God and what will restrict us from heaven.  

but what the i'm saying with the poem is not to shrivle up and die but to to follow God's words.  
He didn't make us robots but in the "free will" given punishment for the wrong desision is death.  That's what it's saying, it's your choice, live-or-die  (in the eternal sense)

 NEW POETRY FORUM NOW OPEN


"If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity."

SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE.
NEW POETRY FORUM ADDED

Don't look... you might see.
Don't listen... you might hear.
Don't think... you might learn.
Don't walk... you might stumble.
Don't run... you might fall.
Don't make a decision... you might be wrong.
Don't live...you might die.

THE PAGE OF PURE POETIC EXPRESSION!!



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2000-02-04 05:22 PM


strong messages in this poem, and thanks for the referal to the new poerty forum, I'll have to give it a look. take care janet marie

 Some things cannot be explained by verses that rhyme,
They are not measured by the commitment of time.
Some emotions run too deep to be described by words,
Forgiveness and understanding-
remain the most beautiful words ever heard.
Janet Marie



Willem
Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 139
Inverness, FL, USA
6 posted 2000-02-04 06:14 PM


To what you said in your explanatory e-mail I can only say, "Amen!"  As you may have noticed, I wrote replies already to two posts in your new forum, and will send in one of my own poems soon.

Willem

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