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My Final Hour
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My Final Hour |
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Tarancula New Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 3 |
Hi I'm new and this may seem pretty like but I would like your feedback. Thank You. My Final Hour By Tarancula Here I am, sitting laid back and as cool as possible. Thinking that I've just seen my friend die. None of this "Death" ordeal could possibly happen to me...Not at this point in time All along I was wrong... Within an instant, a week later, my life was gone. Shattered and broken... Is this how my legacy really ends? Oh Jesus, Heavenly Father, I must make amends! I prayed with all of my faith... But I was too late. Then there it was, the "Bright Light" I so seldomly heard about. Now it's time to meet my judgment and hear my fate from above. When I got there, I saw a disciple of GOD standing before me with a book On it was engraved; the "Book of Life." He said, "How May I help you son? What is your name?" Oh, how I felt so blessed, and full of glee. But before I could even budge... He said, "I Know who you are." Right then and there I knew it was my time to be judged. With that, he turned in complete melancholy and walked away... I reached out and said, "Oh Disciple of God what is it that you have to say?" He turned to me and simply said with a saddened look... "My Son, you're not In the book." In complete shock I said, "This can't be! You must take another look! I followed GOD daily, there MUST be another way!" With little remorse he replied, "There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can say." I fell to my knees with drops forming in my eyes as the man disappeared. At that moment, I knew this is what I really feared. Then I saw him, YES, I saw Jesus himself and asked him, "How could this be?" He put his hand on my shoulder and said "My Son, you have been a sinner, and you have not yet ONCE looked to me for anything else than for your own selfish reasons! You were a fake believer..." "NO! I have not used your name in vain..." I said. Before I could finish, He said without raising His voice, "I never asked much of you, nor have I for any person. Life is something you should not take for granted, but yet you have. Life is something you should cherish, but yet you haven't. Praise MY name and preach the word to others who don't believe." "Jesus no this can't be! Please forgive me?" I said. He turned, and while walking away, said, "It's too late son. For you have been judged." I looked in disarray and ran behind Him. I grabbed Him by the leg to plead as tears flowed from my eyes. I said, "Please, I beg of you Lord..." In a thunderous voice He replied, "PART FROM ME! YOU'VE KNOWN WHAT WAS ASKED OF YOU AND YOU FAILED ME! NOW YOU WANT ME TO SPARE YOU? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME? HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU!?" I began to tremble, and through my weeping I asked, "Lord Jesus, so what is my fate now? What can you tell?" Without hesitation He turned and pointed downward and said, "What I can tell you is that you will rest in the lake of fire in his cell, I'm sorry my son, but your fate is... HELL. With those final words, all I could see was fire and my own flesh burning into ashes before my eyes. I TRIED screaming, but all that could be heard was an abrupt silence. This could have all been avoided if I would have done what was asked of me, and never took life for granted. Now it's too late. For that.....was my Final Hour." [This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 07-12-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tarancula - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Welcome Tarancula! If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask. You can email me anytime.  I like your story here, it sounds like a rendition of what I see in emails. Very similuar. If you want my most honest opinion...? Your story is very moving, a stop to think about what you're doing. It's message can not be told enough. On the critique part, read through it again. There's lots of spelling errors, and grammatically incorrect sentences. That makes one stumble upon reading it. Just for future information, you have 24 hours from the time you post to be able to edit. After that only a Moderator will be able to do that. So if you need help just let me know. I'm glad you're posting with us. I love the story, and I hope to see much more from you!! God bless!PS...Check your email for a special welcome. <*\\\>< |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions! |
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Trillium 
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Glad to see your post and there is a lot of strength in your poem, but I have to agrtee with Wht Dove about the lack of grammar. It would be so much more impressive with some correcting. Hope to see more of your work. Betty Lou Hebert |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
You are so welcome to this corner. Hope to see more from you. Maybe a redo of this poem when you have time to correct errors. My best to you. Joyce |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
What a good poem, welcome to Passions! We grow up and people tell us nobody is perfect, and yet they try to explain to us they are not sinners... xscoutx |
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neweyeday Junior Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 19 |
I enjoyed your first step...many more please.. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Welcome! I am sort of new too. I was writing here long ago, and everyone is so contageously friendly. I had to go away for a while and now I'm back. Your first post is great. Keep writing. It's good for the spirit! Sincerely, Rwood |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
W E L C O M E ! I guess I got to reading this late, but I'm still blessed because it appears that I've read it after all the corrections that was talked about in earlier replies to your post. Gosh, this is a real stirring account (vision or nightmare) of what judgement day will be like that kept my attention form the beginning 'til the end.... there's definitely some very strong dialogue going on here between you and the Lord that would scare the (Heck) out of any normal person in my oppinion. Since you're here writing this, I guess everything is OK and you have lived to tell us all about it and that is a Great thing. A very convincing write. Thanks for sharing it. Bob <>< |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Welcome! You have written a very moving piece. The message is clear. We have a deadline. Take advantage of the time we have. Melton |
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