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Pleasures Evermore
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Pleasures Evermore |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA 
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"You will show me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy. At your right hand are pleasures evermore." Psalm 16:11 Pleasures EvermoreWhy are we so often drawn enamored and infatuated? Why does sin appear so lush and vibrant to our eyes even while we know the truth precisely from the honored text? Could more exist between the lines to make us truly wise? The letter always killed us when it voiced its legal code with glory in the negative to warn us and to chide. It thundered yet stood helplessly to watch our wills diminish. Though pointing out the narrow way it veiled the Heavens wide. So truest life was barred from us with flaming sword between. All hidden was the answer when Mosaic tongues so loud gave numerous prescriptions through a repetition of the law, and spoke about the virtue that was sealed up in a cloud. So might our problem stem much less from hating to perform or low resolve to steer our feet from realms of dark delight? Like Paul we often find ourselves at variance with what we know. Corrupted not in doctrine, our disease is one of sight. We cannot see enjoyment which is bound up in the Lord. Felicity escapes us when we gird ourselves to serve. Thus living for God’s name gets hard and he himself seems harder still. With false humility we vex the grace we can’t deserve. So what’s behind the cloud that may reveal our highest joy? What’s shrouded by the mist that we can’t reach but long to feel? “Rend the heavens Lord”, I pray “The nebulous, please clarify. Bring near the gains of righteousness and help us know they’re real. For sin can only draw us when the best is out of sight. It’s then and only then that restless hearts approach it’s door. Our crime is not our passions. But we sent them searching to the left when all the time at your right hand were pleasures evermore.” SDJ 4/2001 |
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| © Copyright 2001 Stephen Douglas Jones - All Rights Reserved | |||
Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Stephen: A magnificent poem! Perhaps there are truths we are not meant to know, but just accept on faith. Betty Lou Hebert |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
This is an awesome piece on a subject we rarely see any poetry written. In our helplessness, His strength carries us if we but lean on Him. Yet we so often forget to when we need to the most, or I should say I do. Your poetry reflects deep perspective which I greatly appreciate. Thank you. Rae |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
how wonderfully you have written of that which can only be...pure Grace, His Grace that comes into our souls and sets us free to delight in Him! A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Stephanos. I am so impressed by the seemingly effortless way you write. And on such a special subject. I enjoyed this very much. Joyce |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
Thanks for all your replies, I guess this was just a wordy way to express some thoughts I had after reading a book entitled "Pleasures Evermore". The main idea expressed was that Christians often do not fully live in the ectasy or pleasure that is involved with God. And so the fleeting pleasures of sin seem more inviting than living for him. Sadly serving God has been taught as denying our desires when it is not denying them as much as learning to fulfill them in the right way. This poem was just a cry to God to make me see what's "sealed up in a cloud" (through serving him by the law), so I could understand that his grace is far more satisfying than sin. I'm glad you all liked it. Stephen.  |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I really don't know what else to add that's hasn't been said already. This was one well constructed, thought out, awesome poem! <*\\\>< |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Stephanos, Fantastic writing! I suppose our greatest sin is our neglect to look to God for true pleasure choosing rather to look at that which is sinful. Especially since I am male and very visual, I understand the concpt fully well. Because you have asked for constructive Critiques regarding the mechanics of your poem, let me suggest from the beginning... Why are we so often drawn enamored and infatuated? Why does sin appear so lush and vibrant to our eyes(?) (A question mark here to start the reader off on the right track would be great.) (E)ven while we know the truth precisely from the honored text(,) Could more exist between the lines to make us truly wise? Just a suggestion.... I do love the study content of your poem. Again Excellent! Bob <>< |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
Bob, Thank you for your reply and the critique as well. Both are genuinely appreciated. I just wanted to say one thing though... some of the suggestions you made, I acutally wanted to do when originally writing this poem. For example I wanted to put a question mark after every phrase that rang like a question, even if the question wasn't complete. for instance, the very example you used... "Why are we so often drawn enamoured and infatuated? Why does sin appear so lush and vibrant to our eyes even while we know the truth precisely from the honored text?..." I wanted instinctively to write it something like this... "Why are we so often drawn enamoured and infatuated? Why does sin appear so lush? and vibrant to our eyes? even while we know the truth? precisely from the honored text?..." The way the third line here reads sounds like a completed question due to the "breath" or pause imposed by the line break. But grammatically it is not a complete question until the "...text?" of the sixth line. So grammatically speaking it would be incorrect to place the question mark after "lush". But I completely understand what you are saying, because the way it reads, because of the line break, sounds like a finished question. Now I very much believe that grammar is important, even in poetry. I'll take "artistic liscence" only so far. But neither am I a legalist. I will not hesitate to break grammatical rules if keeping them compromises the flow, character, or over-all purpose of the poem. I guess in this instance, even though the end of line three rang like an entire question, I chose to go against this almost more natural feeling of going ahead and inserting the "?", simply because when I read the poem without a question mark at the end of line three, It sounded the same. It didn't really make me phrase it more like a question (maybe because "why" at the beginning prepared me to expect a question)... so good grammar did not seem to compromise natural "feeling" of speech. However, maybe when you read it to yourself you did not get the same effect as I did. Perhaps the absence of the "?" made it sound more like a statement to you. (after all, "why" Can precede declaritive statements). So maybe you are right, and I am wrong. Or maybe either way could be used. I don't know. I'd be interested in hearing anything here that you think I may be missing, or not considering. Stephen. [This message has been edited by Stephanos (edited 05-24-2001).] |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
Bob, (to everyone else please forgive my bogging down this thread with my own morbidly technical replies... LOL). Bob...forgive me! I just noticed that your suggestion really didn't ask me to compromise grammar. You only suggested that I change the sentence structure here. I just now realized that your reading formed sentences ...Duh! ...just different ones. I didn't mean to insult your intelligence. I read what you suggested again and it is brilliant. I like it better than what I wrote in a couple of different ways... First, it is more symmetrical because rhyme scheme is patterned along with the sentence structure... In other words, a sentence doesn't "straddle" an end rhyme. Notice what I wrote... "Why are we so often drawn enamoured and infatuated? Why does sin appear so lush (sentence start) and vibrant to our eyes [end rhyme] even while we know the truth precisely from the honored text? (sentence end) Could more exist between the lines to make us truly wise?" Secondly, the final four lines (of these 8) which you made into a sentence, harmonize better as a sentence. (notice how "text" and "between the lines" work beautifully together with their imagery in your suggestion...) Even while we know the truth precisely from the honored text, could more exist between the lines to make us truly wise?" The only reason I am thinking to stay with the way I had it is because your suggestions (as good as they are) actually cause a key thought or idea that I was trying to express to diminish in clarity. Notice that My sentence... "Why does sin appear so lush and vibrant to our eyes even while we know the truth precisely from the honored text?" makes the question even more pointed by not merely asking "why does sin appear so attractive?" but why does it do so even though we know so much truth from the bible? The first question may be disturbing all alone, but my extended question is even more disturbing and dramatic, and sets the reader up for the rest of the poem, which suggests that a person can come away from the Bible with a "lawful" understanding and yet lack grace. See what I mean? So while poetically I think your suggestion is the best. I just could not bring myself to abandon, or leave unclear that thought I wanted to present. And I do think the way I have it is acceptable poetically. If it were atrocious, I would willingly dump the thought to save the art (and the other thoughts also, since few will read far past bad lines), or either try to do something completely different. Anyway, this has been very very interesting to me. And I will think on it some more. Thank you for the suggestion and interesting conversation. Ps (I hope I made clear what I meant to communicate here) pss (Yes everyone, I know stuff like this is better suited for "critical analysis" or something like that! LOL) your friend in Christ and in poetry Stephen. [This message has been edited by Stephanos (edited 05-24-2001).] |
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