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Bargaining...again
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Bargaining...again |
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Jeen Member
since 2000-06-07
Posts 91 |
My apologies for not participating for some time. I just have not been well... Lord I've come here to your thrown, With this request before, Yet I'm down on my knees again Asking for it just once more. A chance to see my second child Through her growing years. I long for you to read my heart Through my silent tears. She came home ill from kindergarten, Threw up on her Barbie sneakers, Pale and embarrassed from the ordeal, God I've never seen her weaker. It was another awful migraine, The kind that pounds and throbs. She cried, why is it she's always sick Through sad five year old sobs. I held her in my arms to assure her She'd soon feel ok, And that I would always comfort her When she felt this way. But then I began to wonder, If my words could be a lie, Since the battle I am waging Brings the chance that I might die. She said, "Please mama lay here, I need you close to me", "And will you bring me Coke soda Before you rock me on your knee?" Then she drifted into serene slumber, On my warm, safe, queen sized bed. Again thoughts of me leaving her, Filled my aching haggard head. Oh God, you've always carried me, Through all my aches and woes. My shattered heart you mended, When my first child chose to go, Live with his father who now, Nurtures his masculine seed, And although I know he loves me, I am not the one he needs. It is this little angel, This miracle you lent to me, Who needs me here next to her, As long as I can be. To soothe her head and bellyaches, And model right and wrong, And lead her to your kingdom, Where your children all belong. If this is not your plan Lord, Then strengthen me not to try, To hold onto her too tightly, If I'm forced to say good-bye. I am leaving this with you God, As she opens up her eyes, Again it's time to be her mommy, With all the duties that implies. I am sobered by the knowledge, That you've unveiled to me. I understand forever, This is not eternity. Every day, each living moment, Every second I am here, Has been orchestrated, majestically, From your awesome heavenly tier. So all my cares and anxiety, I will cast up onto you. You are the only one who knows, The truly perfect thing to do. And as I fight this battle, I know your love for me is sure. Whichever door I walk through, I will find that I am cured. ...Because this is an emotional subject for me, I am not as good at finding breaks in the flow of this poem, and would appreciate any suggestions. Also I am not sure how to post the stanzas so they line up correctly or punctuation. Thank you God Bless Jeen [This message has been edited by Jeen (edited 10-13-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Such beauty in your words. Believe me God is watching over you and your daughter. Miracles do happen! God Bless you and those you love. |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
Oh, Jeen, this has touched me deeply. You have written a beautiful petition before our Lord and Saviour, Jesus....He is a loving Saviour. With a copy of your poem in my Bible, I shall remember you and your precious daughter in my prayers. ((HUGS))to you and your little one. Marcy |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
 First of all this poem is written beautifully... straight from your heart and that is just how I believe God would have it written. Second, your attitude desirves the highest commendation. As a woman of Great Faith in the power of God, you've expressed your complete Trust in Him and in this atmosphere of Faith and Trust, God will do miracles. I cannot tell you the outcome of your daughter's condition, but with God all things are possible to those who believe in Him. Whatever God does for certain I know will be miraculous. God Bless You and Heal your daughter's condition and your dreams I pray... In Jesus Name, Bob <>< |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Jeen, I don't know all the correct ways of writing but what I do know is this wonderful and heartfelt. Simply beautiful. Deb  |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
You have penned a very touching and heartfelt piece with this and your inspirational attitude glows off of the page. You penned it wonderfully as Free Verse has No set rules to live by. It reads well and your heart is behind it so that alone makes it lovely. |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Very touching, and written very beautifully. Your attitude is to be admired, and it reminds me of a song that says "I'm a Winner either way, if I go or if I stay. Praise the Lord I'm a winner either way." You know that it is in God's hands and he will heal by whatever mean he knows best, a healing here on earth or a perfect body in heaven. My prayers are with you. |
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Jeen Member
since 2000-06-07
Posts 91 |
Thank you all so much for your support and prayers. Does the structure of the poem flow as it should? Sometimes when I write I feel as if I am having a conversation to God. It is difficult for me to then take that material and turn it into something that others can relate to without leaving them feeling as if too much intimacy has been shared. Does that make sense? Jeen |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
The utmost beauty is an honest open heart in life and poetry. You have done a supurb job! (God's THRONE) is the only mistake I detected, but I'm far from a writer, only one who can appreciate your honesty and thank you so much for sharing. You know God doesn't take anything away from us. He only gives. Prayers are being said. |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Jeen, What a tender piece of your heart you have shared with us here. A beautifully written poem, so heartfelt, and yes, it makes perfect sense. God bless and my prayers will be with you and your daughter. Bonnie |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Jeen~ I kept coming back to this lovely and touching 'conversation with God'. Poignantly done. It reads lovely as a poem - and remarkably as a prayer from a mother's heart. God be with your precious children and with you in your guardianship of this child. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Jeen Member
since 2000-06-07
Posts 91 |
Thank you Marge. Your prayers are appreciated. Jeen |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Oh my dear Jeen. This was perfect, I wouldn't change a thing. The emotion is pouring through this. You've brought tears to my eyes. Your daughter has a very special mommy! Who will always hold your love in her heart! God bless you both, my son suffers from migraines as well, I know how incapacitating they can be. I shall pray for you both. |
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