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Open Poetry #4
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 1999-11-24 12:08 PM


[Please note, this was sent by a friend who got it from somewhere else - I would applaud the author, but I do not know who s/he is. Enjoy it anyway.]

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking and baking and moanin' and bitchin'.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest,
this rooms a disaster, just look at this mess!
Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;
my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready !"
He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet ??"
As quick as a flash I reach for a knife; He loses an earlobe;
I wanted his life !
He flees from the room in terror and pain and screams
"MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE !!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell ?
Oh, ****, it's the pies !! They're burned all to hell !!
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong ?? Is there still more ahead ??
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.
Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, If I live till next year,
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
and if that doesn't work, I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED! >>

© Copyright 1999 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 1999-11-24 12:42 PM


Laughing here....thanks for the smile
here's a few for you

JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
2 posted 1999-11-24 03:41 PM


That is too good! I applaud the author too, whoever they are. They gave me quite a good laugh!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 1999-11-24 08:53 PM


Thanks for sharing this, Sunshine, just hillarious! And so true to life! (hehehehe)


------------------
Denise


Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
4 posted 1999-11-24 08:57 PM


Thank you sunshine. This is precious and exactly how I used to feel before our holidays.

------------------
Yesterday is history, tomorrow just a mystery. And if today is good to me how could I ask for more?

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 1999-11-24 09:22 PM



Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 1999-11-24 09:25 PM


This is great, Sunshine!
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