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Open Poetry #4
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At Last I Call You Friend (Spenserian Sonnet?)
| Open Poetry #4 |
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At Last I Call You Friend (Spenserian Sonnet?) |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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The last of fading light slips in my room To cast its shadows long across the floor The sun it seems is bowing to the gloom Of looming painful night forevermore For beacon's light I search the lonely shore Horizon scan for any glimpse at all The pain from out my soul begins to pour As crashing waves of grief cause me to fall My heart courageous beats yet can't forestall The ravages this storm shall surely wreak In youth I thought I'd rise above the pall Of suffering, enshrouded days so bleak. Yet agony, at last, I call you friend For to His side you've led me in the end. ------------------ Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-13-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
You have done quite well by this one! Nocht ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die." |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Bravo! Denise. Everything flowed so well and I liked the message. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful poem Elizabeth |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I echo Elizabeth's sentiments in triplicate, also, Denise. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Wonderfully written , cudos at least two ! No surprises here , you had it in you ! |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Well Denise, you certainly have the talent. Another lovely piece here!  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Denise, No suprise to me, wonderful job. |
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John Yaws Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860Texas |
Beautiful. Very well crafted, and exquisitely atriculated. |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
Denise your talent shines like the sun May I add my "Beautiful!" to the others! ------------------ "Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wow! I guess I did it! I wasn't sure as I can't always here the rhythm when I write. I snuck into Nan's workshop a few times unbeknownst to anyone. I really didn't think I could pull it off, so I didn't bother to sign up. But this was fun and I think I will try more in the future. Thanks again for all your lovely comments and for taking the time to read what I write! ------------------ Denise |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Denise, this is exquisite! ------------------ Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Yes Denise..absolutely beautiful...... ------------------ A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thanks, Sys and Pepper! I'm glad you think it is beautiful! ------------------ Denise |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Very beautiful, applauds your work |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well the word beautiful has been used already, but it truly describes your poem well Denise. And knowing that you worked really hard on this makes it deserve that much more praise - well done! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Ruth and Severn for your kind words! I am so glad that you liked it! ------------------ Denise |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Very nice use of theme... I think you chose the right format for the job, it gave you enough room to be descriptive without exhausting your subject matter. In particular I like the conclusiveness of your closing couplet... even if it caught me off guard, I think that's a good thing as it contrasts so well to the rest of the poem. Really nice work--- Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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