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Open Poetry #4
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Water
| Open Poetry #4 |
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Water |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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My feet fall like rain, On the ground, Running nowhere, Faster as I reach the hollow. I feel thunder like it's pain, And I wonder, Am I somewhere? And why do I feel so hollow? And what did I do? What did I say? I had been waiting for a way, To cross the water, But it seems I washed away. I feel my heart beat faster, As I run faster, I know it's weaker Than before I came here. Every breath gets shorter, And I feel older, With every footstep, But I have no fear. Whatever I did, Or said, It wasn't as cold As this water, It wasn't as cold But I've been baptised by the pain, You know it wasn't the rain, That stopped me, It was only my heart How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
My gosh, this is good... I've read it three times and I'm going back for a fourth... That's a good thing...  |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thanks so much Nan. It is a very meaningful commment coming from a woman of letters and an educator as well. How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius |
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Dolphins3 Member
since 1999-09-30
Posts 135Wisconsin |
LR Welcome to Passions! Great poem. I loved the last stanza. Merry Christmas |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
yep Nan, I always try to get him to write more, he has a way with words....I love this, you can just feel it like if you are there with him.....and then the last stanza....wow! |
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starboards Member
since 1999-10-14
Posts 467longwood, florida |
yes great poem! i myself may have to go back for seconds! Starboards "I wont look back, I wont regret, though it hurts like hell someday I will forget" |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I like this. You have a way with words that is wonderfully descriptive!  |
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Fairy Colours Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 169Sunrise,Fl,US |
This is great. I love anything about water and I'm happy you wrote this. --A Little Fairy-- |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
Nice. I especially like the part about being swept away. |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Nice poem and we welcome you with open arms! Nathan |
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littleJas Junior Member
since 1999-12-22
Posts 39Australia |
I really liked it alot. Its very good |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Local Rebel, Excellent poem. Enjoyed |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you and me both, babe |
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