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Open Poetry #4
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please give a reply even if u think its bad
| Open Poetry #4 |
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please give a reply even if u think its bad |
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amandafoose Junior Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 11 |
I want to wake up to your hand beside mine I want to be your one and only I want to be there when you feel excited I want to be there when you're lonely Summer days won't be summer days Without a kiss and you beside me My air will not have oxygen Unless it is the air that you breathe I need you Only you No one else fits the puzzle You make my picture complete And a life without you is something i cannot withstand Spend your days with me Your night can be my night We will live a life of paradise All the rest is eternity |
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| © Copyright 1999 amandafoose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I don't think it sounds bad, I think it sounds like LOVE!  Denise |
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Jordan Lake New Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 6 |
I think it sounds good Amanda. My only advice is to let it flow... let the words live inside your soul, and then just let print themselves upon the paper. Poetry cannot be forced upon a page. Poetry is not only words, it is the essence you create when you express the intricasies of your inner-self. Take care Amanda, and please keep writing, I have enjoyed your work. |
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Fairy Colours Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 169Sunrise,Fl,US |
OOO. I think somebody's in love too. Great poem. --A Little Fairy-- |
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starboards Member
since 1999-10-14
Posts 467longwood, florida |
I think this is far from bad...this shows true love which is always a good subject to write on...great job! Starboards "I wont look back, I wont regret, though it hurts like hell someday I will forget" |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Another hopeless romantic |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
yep another hopeless romantic...sigh....really nice poem |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Well, Don't know how hopeless she is but she definitely is in love... classically I'd say |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Wonderful words Amanda. . . I must agree with Jordan. . . poetry comes from the heart. . . so let your heart guide you. . . let your voice sing. . . show us your song. . . The best words come from within us. . . That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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