this fear (PLEASE give me your comments!)

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Open Poetry #4

this fear (PLEASE give me your comments!)

destiny502
Member

since 1999-11-23

Posts 57
OH

0 posted 1999-12-19 08:35 PM

i want to be with you more than you know
but these fears in me just will not go

i dont think im ready but i want to please you
can you wait much longer? what will you do?

it scares me so much to feel like this
sometimes the lust just craves your kiss

i know i love you and dont want you to go
but if you must then go ahead and do so

i just want to feel your body close to mine
without fearing what you'll do in time

maybe im paranoid or just a plain mess
but sometimes i feel like this is a test
my love for you will never die
but i just sometimes wonder why
if you love me
you can wait
one day it will be our fate.

does this sound stupid? i dont think its written very well, but i tried. please give me some advice on it..any..thanks

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 1999-12-19 08:41 PM

Destiny, I think this is very good! I am no critic of poetry but I know when I enjoy something. I think you have expressed yourself well in this and I think the words flow easy! Well that's my opinion, anyway!

(and yes, if he loves you he should wait 'till you are ready...if he doesn't want to then he isn't the one for you...if this is about you of course!)

Denise

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

2 posted 1999-12-20 01:55 PM

Destiny, this is very good. . . you have opened your heart and let the words come forth. . . that is all that you can do.

The best poetry comes straight from the heart. . . that is where these words have come from. . . keep writing my friend. . . let your heart sing. . . looking forward to more from you. ..

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

starboards
Member

since 1999-10-14

Posts 467
longwood, florida

3 posted 1999-12-20 01:57 PM

Destiny--
I like this poem! But you shouldn't be afraid of your feelings, they're there for a reason, remember this...nice work!

Starboards

Irie
Senior Member

since 1999-12-01

Posts 1493
Washington State

4 posted 1999-12-20 02:04 PM

I think this was beautiful and very heartfelt. Nice work.

I do think that if you are having fears or second thoughts about it....then maybe you should dig deep with in your self and see what YOU want. If you are not ready, then don't do it. And if this person REALLY loves you, they will surely understand.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

5 posted 1999-12-20 07:02 PM

Very heartfelt

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