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Open Poetry #4
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Colder
| Open Poetry #4 |
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Colder |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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When mooned < !signature-->the sky shifts at light stars are stronger than mountains wider yet warmed by representation from foolish minstrels and sonnet song Ocean’s fairy spray touch faces bare with love loved barely by those who take her dangers and mold them to fit a wooer’s sight so colder than blood in a lover’s heart We vision soft a poetic world frail to the call of human need yet colder she pulses caring not for folly joy or aching sighs colder she lies numb beneath our feet obliviously live so deaf to the praise sung through her name and colder the seasons turn 18.12.99 ...no longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from, fill your lives with love and bravery and you shall lead lives uncommon... [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 12-17-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This poem gave me the shivers....and not from the cold. I love the way you represented the underlying thought here. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I read this several times. This is a complex poem and beautiful as yours always are. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kamla, Abstactly creating a concrete vision. Lovely! Liz |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
How intriguing..... Very nicely done, Severn.. I do enjoy your work...  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I could feel this one. You certainly can weave fine words together! Denise |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Whew...you've done a good job with this one |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Exquisitely beautiful young lady! I do enjoy reading your thoughts, and your poetry! I applaude you on this one for sure! ***clapping !! - - - If I can just touch you once, then I feel I have accomplished what I am called to do...- - pFF |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
And I with chills of winter borne a song so dreary toned Caught inside life's endless trial where metal heart's entombed. Brilliant and cold indeed K. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Coldness of soul can be a blessing my friend, though you know it not until pain comes down on you. Very well done. Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) |
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Rod Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 149Auckland New Zealand |
Gave me the shivers too! Deep - and well engineered as usual. You have superb semantic panache Kamla! Well done! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Balladeer - thankyou my friend - wasn't sure if it would be clear actually...! Martie - thankyou, and thankyou also for reading it more than once - that means a lot you know! Liz - that is a great way to put it. It sounds very English Majorish.  Thanks. KNan - why thankyou! Same goes. Denise - poems are tapestries of experience, I think my friend - thankyou!! Ruth - Phew is just how I felt after it! LOL. Thanks Gen - Wow. Hey, thanks for that! How are you anyway? Big smiles! Chris - Yet I know inside a stripped soul that summer cries a tune I cannot help but follow Follow it close my friend for it is inevitable as the sky's cycle. HUGS... Scott - I do know...and thankyou. Rod - Thankyou my friend, wow - that's quite a compliment - now go say that to yourself!!! K |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Captivating! and Beautiful Severn! I do love your work so...... A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Severn - Loved the presentation. Loved the thoughts. Love ya' .. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Seaangel Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 167Auckland, New Zealand |
Not cold but flushed with the heat of life, however lived...sea or earth or stars, I believe the energy of atoms gives us the right to share the heat...apart from the provoking thought of this, Severn, I thought the poem itself was well-written and I liked the use of "colder" as a refrain...reminding us that all the universe is not the same as us. "Stop this day and night with me and you shall possess the origin of all poems, You shall possess the good of the earth and sun (there are millions of suns left,) You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, nor look through the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the spectres in books, You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me, You shall listen to all sides and filter them from your self." >Walt Whitman, Song of Myself. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Uh, I know I'm just stating the obvious but Man You're Good! It got 15 degrees colder in here just reading this. Excellent, Severn. Michael |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Severn, Agree Balladeer, *L* Sy |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
Wrapping my blankie tighter around me and thinking...HOW DOES SHE DO IT? Awesome, Kamla...simply awesome It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
*S* - Thankyou, dear friend. (merry christmas...) Marge - love ya too. Thanks Sea - hmmm - too intelligent a reply for me...hehehehe - take a break OK - we still have a few weeks off! I beg to differ - we are not the same as the universe. Thanks hon. Michael - Thanks - hey, you can borrow some of Carolines blankies (if Gen doesn't mind!!) Sy - Caroline - (Michael might want some of your blankies...) Thanks Mistress B, I appreciate it. |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
I feel the depth of this....The depth that coldness only shares with that who it touches...Excuse me while I go find a blanket. I seem to be rather cold Excellent Severn Share what you are for you are what you share |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
First Knight! The rescuer of buried poetry! Hehe - thankyou, for the rescuing and the praise...*twinkle* K |
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mc Member
since 1999-11-16
Posts 67México |
It capture my senses to enjoy this exquisite cold and yet warm poem. Very beautiful, K. mcestrada |
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andy Junior Member
since 1999-12-16
Posts 17 |
Bbbbbbbrrrrrrrr Excellent and cold yet in the middle of summer ! Nice, very nice words.  MERRY CHRISTMAS |
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samsonheart Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 72Missouri rez. |
You're good. lovely, lovely poemsamsonheart |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow I knew this would be good before I clicked it |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Sometimes we just have to feel that cold to get that warm if you get my drift Nice write Kamla. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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