Open Poetry #4 |
Her Scent |
broker6 Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 132Bellevue, NE, Sarpy |
Her Scent by © Richard J. Budig 1996 Used to be, she'd come down from her bath In an old red housecoat with no make-up . . . Natural, feminine, and very earthy. She'd close the doors, pull the curtains . . . Shut the house against the uncertain night So that it was just me and her, Safe and secure in our fortress of light. It was a special time for me . . . seeing her Without paint, potions, lotions and nostrums. Without all the trimmings and accents. What I saw was what I got . . . A woman who glowed with an inner light, Whose eyes danced without liner, Whose face shone without make-up, Whose body smelled clean and fresh, Whose breath was milky like a cat. I liked to cuddle with her then, I liked it when her scent washed over me, Clean, And fresh, And milky, And tender. |
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© Copyright 1999 broker6 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Beautiful! I love this poem Richard! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Absolutely beautiful Richard |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is so sensual and sweet and sure. Loved it! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I missed this before. This is beautiful and heartfelt! Very nice! ------------------ Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This is, indeed, excellent. One point that really strikes me, though, is the past tense used. Could you elaborate....or telling me to mind my own business is also acceptable. |
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broker6 Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 132Bellevue, NE, Sarpy |
I used past tense because we were no longer together when I wrote this. And, if you think about it, this kind of piece wouldn't quite go right in the present tense . . . do you think? It's a reflective thing, the kind of thing one things back on. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thanks for the info, broker. No, the poem wouldn't have the same impact in present tense for sure but the final words "and I still do" would cover that nicely. Again, excellent writing. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Richard - Very sensual remembrances. I like it. ------------------ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Richard, this lady was a very lucky one indeed to have such devotion from you. I truly hope she was appreciative... |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Love this piece Richard!! I am saving this in my favorites' file..... Very sensual and great imagery...! ------------------ A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! |
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