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Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

0 posted 1999-12-09 03:01 AM

Did my words
  just drip
    from you

Honey from a comb?

Fallen
  to your sterile earth
   driven in
     distraught flesh

      And I

the undone
  the alone
     am stung
       by tiny thoughts
of you

I just work
    fly
flit through life

and not pause
  questioning
    the color of flowers
       or the nectar
of you

You are such giant
  a mass
   of love
    and distance

       And I

have lost my
  flight path

spinning driftily
  without your scent
    to draw me
       for summer has gone
         and the flowers
dead

       And I

so small

am vanished

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-12-09 03:54 AM

I am much impressed with the formatting work done with this. It adds to the feeling of flight depicted in words. It likes me much.

Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©
-------------------------------------------------------
"Either kill me or take me as I am,
because I'll be damned if I ever change..."

Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
(Marquis de Sade)

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 1999-12-09 04:26 AM

Excellent! This reads so easily in the format you've chosen and emphasizes each line!

Betty Gravitt
Member

since 1999-09-11

Posts 222
Georgia United States

3 posted 1999-12-09 05:13 AM

Beautiful words and the format adds iceing to the cake.

B Gravitt

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

4 posted 1999-12-09 05:16 AM

A poet's poet at such a tender age
Wonderful!
Liz

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

5 posted 1999-12-09 08:25 AM

Another stunning piece my friend....!!

A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

6 posted 1999-12-09 01:01 PM

I know that I should stop being surprised, each time I read upon a new facet of your amazing talent. Excellent verse, as always.

May I never be too busy to help another's load,
Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed.

--Author Unknown

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

7 posted 1999-12-09 01:12 PM

Severn,
Good words, good format, good poem.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

8 posted 1999-12-09 01:23 PM

This is so beautiful Severn! Very lovely!

Denise

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

9 posted 1999-12-09 02:15 PM

Severn, this is a beautiful poem. I read it again and again and was drawn back. You have a great talent.

jbouder
Member Elite

since 1999-09-18

Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash

10 posted 1999-12-09 02:18 PM

Severn, my man, good poem. (Just kidding about the "man" thing ... gotcha, though, didn't I?). You'll find no disagreements with the above here. Beautiful poem, excellent format, fine words.

Jim

"If I rest, I rust." -Martin Luther

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

11 posted 1999-12-09 04:59 PM

Severn: Not with emotions like these you're not!...Nor will you ever be!

HUGS

Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

12 posted 1999-12-09 05:02 PM

DE my friend - thankyou, the format kind of just happened...

PDV - thanks! You know, before everything was upgraded many of my poems had to forgo an intended format - so it is good to experiment now.

Betty - thankyou.

Liz - what do you mean by poet's poet? Forgive my ignorance!! Thanks hon.

*S* - thankyou!!!!!

Satiate - that means much. Thankyou.

Sy - three goods in a row.
That just tickles me fancy.

Denise - thanks! And I am still working on the Sonnet thing.

Martie - Ah, but I feel in your shadow my friend...

Jemima - look, go plait your hair or something would you...?

Thankyou!

RG - didn't mean to miss you! That says so much - thankyou...

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 12-09-1999).]

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

13 posted 1999-12-09 05:11 PM

Severn, you could never be a small thing by any standards. Another excellent example of your talent.

To the world you might be just one person but to one person you might just be the world.

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