navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #4 » I Am
Open Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic I Am Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704


0 posted 1999-12-09 03:01 AM


Did my words
  just drip
    from you

Honey from a comb?

Fallen
  to your sterile earth
   driven in
     distraught flesh
    
      And I

the undone
  the alone
     am stung
       by tiny thoughts
of you

I just work
    fly
flit through life

and not pause
  questioning
    the color of flowers
       or the nectar
of you

You are such giant
  a mass
   of love
    and distance
          
       And I

have lost my
  flight path

spinning driftily
  without your scent
    to draw me
       for summer has gone
         and the flowers
dead
      
       And I

so small

am vanished



© Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-12-09 03:54 AM


I am much impressed with the formatting work done with this. It adds to the feeling of flight depicted in words. It likes me much.

 Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©
-------------------------------------------------------
"Either kill me or take me as I am,
because I'll be damned if I ever change..."

Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
(Marquis de Sade)


Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 1999-12-09 04:26 AM


Excellent! This reads so easily in the format you've chosen and emphasizes each line!  

Betty Gravitt
Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 222
Georgia United States
3 posted 1999-12-09 05:13 AM


Beautiful words and the format adds iceing to the cake.  

 B Gravitt



Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
4 posted 1999-12-09 05:16 AM


A poet's poet at such a tender age
Wonderful!
Liz

Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
5 posted 1999-12-09 08:25 AM


Another stunning piece my friend....!!

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!



Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
6 posted 1999-12-09 01:01 PM


I know that I should stop being surprised, each time I read upon a new facet of your amazing talent.  Excellent verse, as always.  

 May I never be too busy to help another's load,
Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed.

--Author Unknown

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 1999-12-09 01:12 PM


Severn,
Good words, good format, good poem.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

8 posted 1999-12-09 01:23 PM


This is so beautiful Severn! Very lovely!  

 Denise



Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 1999-12-09 02:15 PM


Severn, this is a beautiful poem.  I read it again and again and was drawn back.  You have a great talent.
jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
10 posted 1999-12-09 02:18 PM


Severn, my man, good poem. (Just kidding about the "man" thing ... gotcha, though, didn't I?).  You'll find no disagreements with the above here.  Beautiful poem, excellent format, fine words.

 Jim

"If I rest, I rust." -Martin Luther


RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
11 posted 1999-12-09 04:59 PM


Severn: Not with emotions like these you're not!...Nor will you ever be!

HUGS

 Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

12 posted 1999-12-09 05:02 PM


DE my friend - thankyou, the format kind of just happened...

PDV - thanks! You know, before everything was upgraded many of my poems had to forgo an intended format - so it is good to experiment now.

Betty - thankyou.  

Liz - what do you mean by poet's poet? Forgive my ignorance!! Thanks hon.

*S* - thankyou!!!!!

Satiate - that means much. Thankyou.

Sy - three goods in a row.
     That just tickles me fancy.  

Denise - thanks! And I am still working on the Sonnet thing.

Martie - Ah, but I feel in your shadow my friend...

Jemima - look, go plait your hair or something would you...?
   Thankyou!
    
RG - didn't mean to miss you! That says so much - thankyou...  



[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 12-09-1999).]

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
13 posted 1999-12-09 05:11 PM


Severn, you could never be a small thing by any standards. Another excellent example of your talent.

 To the world you might be just one person but to one person you might just be the world.


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #4 » I Am

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary