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Seaangel
Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 167
Auckland, New Zealand

0 posted 1999-12-08 03:20 PM

The sky is not solid.
It does not shudder into being
when you finger it.
It is all pores & no skin.
It soaks, drips,
raptures of
heat-intense & thickly streaks
of orange cloud
& day.
It cannot speak.
It is not inert, does not
seek to be obscure
but hangs,
pushes,
weighs through each
atom of air
onto your body.
It stands well back.

The silver-eyed, well-dewed night
pulls in points,
shouldering regard
around stars & drifting clouds.
It bottles your eyes.

Day bursts them;
the blue nothingness entrances.
Well-sucked in, you stare
at open plains of hidden space.
Light bends to distract,
but the opaqueness of this
mist is clear,
& frustrates.
Night is more direct, & dangerous.

The sky is not solid,
but moves with
awareness of your own
fluctuations,
moon to blood, dogs to claws,
nothing which is not
wild or natural.

Speak, sky. You seem
eternally on the edge
of some platform,
dallying from
blue to black.
Speak. Always at first,
it does not matter
what you say.

jbouder
Member Elite

since 1999-09-18

Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash

1 posted 1999-12-08 03:24 PM

This is excellent, SA. You had better keep writing!

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

2 posted 1999-12-08 10:33 PM

This is one of those poems where I want to own every line, my friend - and I'm sure Mirjam would agree!
Fantastic.
Stunning in its simplicity and serene elegance.

Oh, forgot to give you a

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 12-08-1999).]

paperguardian
Junior Member

since 1999-12-07

Posts 25

3 posted 1999-12-08 10:55 PM

I just want to keep reading this again and again... Great images in this with a powerful ending! Your personification is WOW!!!

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

4 posted 1999-12-08 11:32 PM

I love how you did this! What imagery you've used!

<*\\\><
Jesus is the reason for the season

Seaangel
Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 167
Auckland, New Zealand

5 posted 1999-12-08 11:47 PM

Thanks for your comments, guys; I wasn't sure how this one would be taken. It is the first one I've written after several months of a 'dry spell' so it feels good to have this here and above all to see your responses!
Jbouder: I sure as hell will, if you do!
Severn: how flattering, as I'm sure you will agree.
paperguardian: you're pretty WOW! yourself, welcome and I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
Whtdove: Thanks, good to 'meet' you and I'll be looking out for your poetry.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

6 posted 1999-12-11 03:58 PM

Very very nice, Seaangel! This is beautiful!

Denise

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

7 posted 1999-12-11 04:59 PM

Quite a complex poem, yet it looses none of its impact due to that complexity. Very well done.< !signature-->

Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©
-------------------------------------------------------
"Either kill me or take me as I am,
because I'll be damned if I ever change..."

Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
(Marquis de Sade)

[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 12-11-1999).]

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 1999-12-11 05:54 PM

This is so full of texture---complex and sensory. Very well done--keep writing!

In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)

caroline
Senior Member

since 1999-08-16

Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm

9 posted 1999-12-12 03:28 PM

Wow!! This piece is fantastic. The images you conjure up are stunning. Great work, Sea..and more please!

It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain

Seaangel
Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 167
Auckland, New Zealand

10 posted 1999-12-12 04:25 PM

dsnyder- thank you
dreamevil- such praise from you is gold.
martie- I will if you will!
caroline- imagery is the life of a poem, yes? I'm glad you enjoyed it.

mirjam
Member

since 1999-11-24

Posts 246
Auckland, New Zealand

11 posted 1999-12-14 11:16 PM

Do i agree with Severn or what!!! Wow would be my first response. Definitely sensory, and i love your imagery - you bring things to life with your words, and the way you use them is just incredible. I'm begging for more too so hopefully your dry spell is gone forever!!!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

12 posted 2007-01-27 12:44 PM

Angela~
Hoping to bring you 'home' for a visit~
It's been much too long since you've been here and I'm wanting to know just how you are and what you're doing~

AND ... I'm gonna email you !!

Drop in .. okay ?
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

13 posted 2007-11-12 07:17 PM

Enjoyed angela

ARCTIC WIND

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