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Open Poetry #4
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paperguardian
Junior Member
since 1999-12-07
Posts 25


0 posted 1999-12-08 11:16 AM



If I could,
     dare seize the pain
     see its rearing head and never flinch
             extract it, show you

     how on the grander side of nothing
     aches a throbbing something
I wouldn't.

It is hope,
     the terrifying inspiration whispering
     a poison promise
             of tomorrow, already breathing,

     bearing emptiness
     that I will measure out in
one life.

© Copyright 1999 paperguardian - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 1999-12-08 11:33 AM


Sometimes we take life one day at a time... other times, we must use smaller measures. I like your thoughts on pain and hope. *S* Welcome to Passions!!!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 1999-12-08 11:37 AM


Paper
If I could I wouldn't
If I wouldn't I could.
I think I understood.
Enjoyed the read.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
3 posted 1999-12-08 11:47 AM


Much food for thought here..

HUGS< !signature-->

 Yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream...



[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 12-08-1999).]

Iloveit
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121
NM
4 posted 1999-12-08 12:13 PM


like this too, very well done, welcome  
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
5 posted 1999-12-08 12:19 PM


I'm going to go WAY out here and ask if the way you present this is to represent a snake? (or something close to that.) I've been trying to connect the two...the "siezing pain, the rearing head, never flinch,poison"  etc...
Am I way off?  

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 1999-12-08 12:34 PM


Very good, my friend. . . welcome. . .perhaps you should also look at Dark Passions. . . some of your writing may fit with that also. . .

Very well done. . . I like the use of spacing. . .gives an impression. . .

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

7 posted 1999-12-08 02:56 PM


Welcome to Passions!  

Excellent verse here. Love the format.

paperguardian
Junior Member
since 1999-12-07
Posts 25

8 posted 1999-12-08 03:12 PM


  Thanks for your comments and encouragement!  You guys sure make people feel welcome!  Its great to have someone to share with... glad people finally understood my ramblings!     
   Sally S.--- you are right.. the snake idea is there!  (just not as effective in the format   )
   Sven ---- Thanks - I'll check out Dark Passions!
   Everyone - Thanks again for the encouragement!  Glad to be here and have the opportunity to read your work and share some of mine!

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
9 posted 1999-12-08 05:33 PM


Welcome to passions.  Great poem and I love the way you used the format of a snake to go along with it.  Once again, welcome!


 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
10 posted 1999-12-08 07:37 PM


Welcome to the family! Quite an impressive entrance! I look forward to reading more from you!  

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

11 posted 1999-12-09 12:18 PM


Very well done, paperguardian! Very original format!

 Denise



WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
12 posted 1999-12-19 09:35 PM


I picked that up, the way you made the words slither around like a snake would do. Very unique. I liked this!  And Welcome!
FreeByrd
Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267

13 posted 1999-12-20 03:13 PM


PG,

Like this piece very much. Well written.

This one belongs over in Dark Passions. Stop over and take a look sometime.

Looking forward to more.

-RS

 There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief

There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief

- Hendrix



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
14 posted 1999-12-20 07:04 PM


Welcome to passions  
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
15 posted 1999-12-20 07:26 PM


Hey, I like your work very much!
Quite talented you are!
Liz

caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
16 posted 1999-12-20 07:34 PM


Excellent! Welcome to Passions!  

 It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain



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