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Open Poetry #4

Wish Upon A Star

Eloise
Senior Member

since 1999-11-27

Posts 1096
Wyoming

0 posted 1999-12-06 04:10 PM

On a quiet enchanted evening,
Long ago, but not so far.
Magically, you came to me
From a wish upon a star.

That night the star fell from the sky,
I wished for someone just for fun.
Not expecting much, but you came along.
And a new life for me had just begun.

They say that once in a lifetime,
True love will come around.
And I was so sure
That was what I had found.

But now you say you're leaving.
I just don't understand.
It's hard to build a castle,
When the bricks are made of sand.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 1999-12-06 04:15 PM

Amen! Those sand bricks disappear at the first tide. *S* Well done!

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

2 posted 1999-12-06 04:58 PM

Very well written piece ....!!
Like this much Eloise.......

A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

3 posted 1999-12-06 05:22 PM

Ah yes - been there.

Touching words Eloise.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

4 posted 1999-12-06 09:52 PM

A very sad yet beautiful, poem, Eloise. I enjoyed this.

Denise

Tara Simms
Senior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA

5 posted 1999-12-06 10:39 PM

Beautiful poem. I especially loved the ending about your castle made of sand.

Eloise
Senior Member

since 1999-11-27

Posts 1096
Wyoming

6 posted 1999-12-06 10:52 PM

Thanks suthern, Pepper, Severn, Denise and Tara for reading and commenting. Yes they do wash away with the tide. But we always go back in search of building once again.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

7 posted 1999-12-06 10:55 PM

Good message, Eloise. We need better bricks.

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