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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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A home without a wall, |
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| Poetry Workshop |
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Men, Women and Triples |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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Easy assignment today. Gimme a poem of 10 lines, two four-line stanzas followed by a two-line finale. The first two lines of the two four-line stanzas need to end in masculine rhymes, the last two lines ending with feminine rhymes, and the couplet at the end ending in triple rhymes. If you are rhyming words such as "happiness" and "sappiness," you are using what is known as a triple rhyme. The singular rhyme, such as with the words "bee" and "see," is called the masculine rhyme. The double rhyme, for words such as "table" and "cable," is referred to as a feminine rhyme. Done yet?  P.S. If you want to use more than two four-line stanzas, go ahead but use the same format on each stanza. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
What a funny sight to see, Monkey’s hanging from my knee. They are something from a fable, Covered head to toe with sable. I’m not sure what’s up with me, Seeing monkey’s on my knee. Hit my head upon the table, Now there’s monkey’s from a fable. When you run with carelessness, You’ll end up with craziness. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I think the last line doesn't work as well as it should. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Right you are, Marliyn. That's not a valid triple. The last three syllables must rhyme, syllable by syllable. The rest of it is right on, though, and I certainly give you credit for an interesting subject for a poem! I like it! |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
As you can plainly see Meter is difficult for me Challenges on the table Make me wonder if I’m able To make this meter scheme Not as difficult as it may seem I feel quite unstable For I’ve missed that metric label I feel so under competent When my meter is so impotent Arana Darkwolf |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Rachael, I am not sure if you got my IM about this - and God knows, I am not a teacher. However, one of the first things I had to learn when I came to the Workshop is consistancy of syllable count. Your lines that rhyme should be the same syllable. It also helps if you are consistant from stanza to stanza. This was something I found to be a workable 'fix' when I was at my most discouraged. It helped to keep my poetry somewhat in line - rather than all over the place. You are doing good - the most important thing is you are working and trying to learn it. It's frustrating. I know this first hand. Hang in there. Alison |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Thanks, Z. I'm lucky to have the support I do here. I'll recount it all. Maybe even write a new one. xoxoxoxo Arana Darkwolf |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
As you can plainly see Meter is hard for me Duties on the table Thinking I’m not able To make these meter schemes Not as hard as it seems I feel quite unstable Missing metric label I feel so under competent When my meter is impotent |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Rachel, I want you to re-type that poem, using lower-case type for the syllables you consider to be unaccented and capitals for the accented ones, such as this.. i THINK that I shall NEver SEE a POEM as LOVEly AS a TREE Show me where the accents are in your poem, the way you have written it. It will be a good exercize. |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Teacher Sir, they work me so hard at work, I'm brain dead. I don't know if I can even think of a topic. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Don't worry about it, Rose. Work is your livelihood and it comes first. You can't eat poetry  We ain't going nowhere and, whenever you show up, you are welcome! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Determined not to be the last the ermine moved in very fast pretending everything was fine descending on the finish line Competing 'gainst the hare and turtle some fleeting hope that he could hurtle stationary objects quickly save one hairy bump quite prickly I'd detour 'round 'um or you'll find Aiyeee's your sound from porcupines! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Yeah, ok, I see where I didn't follow directions ( first two lines of each stanza/masculine, second two lines of each stanza/feminine, ending couplet in triples) I guess my guys and gals went to the fertility clinic and ended up with octuplets! Back to the drawing board. Doc |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Thank you Balladeer! I will try to do the assignments, when I can. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Appearing nightly as a joke but nearing point where some might choke Deserving of a break in grading he's swerving as his hopes are fading In bending rules there is one trick impending booms get lowered quick necessitating one be faster lest decimation and disaster likely'd be predestination I'd concede me estimation |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Ok...so this is horribly off...I should do this for all of my poems so I can check meter BEFORE posting....  As YOU can PLAINly SEE MetER is HARD for ME DuTIES on THE taBLE ThinkING I’m NOT abLE To MAKE these METer SCHEmes Not AS hard AS it SEEMS I FEEL quite UNstaBLE MissING metRIC labEL i FEEL so UNder COMpetENT When MY metER is IMPotENT Arana Darkwolf |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Hmmm, I thought that this lesson was going to be about menage a trois! Oh, well, here's my tempered version of my original take on this exercise!  Colours When skies glow red at night, It is a welcomed sight. But when they’re red at morn A storm will soon be born. A pretty girl in pink, ~ Will get many a wink. A guy wearing yellow, Is a scaredy fellow. Rainbows, flowers and greenery, Brighten blue planet's scenery. LLD [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (08-03-2009 07:49 PM).] |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
Running past the trees, I feel a cool breeze. So tired I'm unstable, Am I really able? The race I'm in is hard, Don't let down your guard, exhausted I am meager, but to win I must be eager. getting less inferior. going towards superior. Probably broke a few rules ... At least I tried |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Moose, your second attempt is right on. Earth Angel...go back and read the instructions. Rachel....meTER? duTIES? Yes, I agree, it is way off. crosscountry...good try but the meter is way off. You will need to work on that. |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
Ugh, yeah I know, I've never been able to get it. Ever... Any ideas to help me? Rileigh |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oooos-a-daisy! I see what you mean! Thanks, Deer One. I'll give it another go. Colours When skies glow red at night, It is a welcomed sight. But when they’re red at morning That is a sailor's warning. A pretty girl in pink, ~ Will get more than a wink. But a guy wearing yellow, Is thought a fearful fellow. Rainbows, flowers, and greenery, Add colour to the scenery. LL [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (08-05-2009 06:11 PM).] |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
Geez, I tried to fix the meter in my poem, but it was too hard... I can see now how off the meter was... Rileigh |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Rileigh, a great help to get your meter right, is tapping your feet while reading your poem outloud. At least that helps when it's iambic meter. Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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