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Another colorful lesson
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Another colorful lesson |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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O, we've gone through describing colors by not mentioning them by name. Now...let's mention them by name! PLEASE don't give me the dull, routine (the sun is yellow, the black night) boring descriptions. come up with innovative ways to use the colors. We're poets, right? Creators, innovators, imagination experts...when you write "Yellow is..." give me something I don't normally think of. I realize this will not be as easy as it may sound. It will take a lot of thought and imagination. Take your time....but try. You have a very patient teacher. Do it....NOW!  I'll start you off with an example of mine... Ain't Easy Being Red, Man... I'm telling you I'm red, man! My body's overdone From toes up to my head, man From lying in the sun. Those devil rays can make you pay If one does not take heed Now I'm a painful red, man My body's fricacee'd!!!! Now I am really red, man! I thought I was alone And didn't bother getting dressed To run to get the phone But Lorelei had just stopped by And caught me in the nude. My cheeks are really red, man From what she saw protrude!!! My face is burning red, man. I'm ticked off to the max! I'd fell a huge Sequoia If I only had an ax!! Found out too late that my last date Had one time been a "he"! I mean, I'm seeing red, man This anger's blinding me. Ain't easy being red, man. That color's not my style. When you're embarrassed, burned or ticked It's hard to crack a smile. Although I dread the thought of red One fact will still hold true. As long as I have you, gal I'll never wind up blue. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
 Good job... In fact, I think I'm turning green!  |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Here's an old one that might fit your criteria, Mike? |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
 I'm among experts here! That's a great poem and example, Ron, and helped me understand better what is expected, although Balladeer gave an excellent example too. I guess I'll try again tomorrow and submit something now that came out of the blue. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It certainly does, Ron. I'd never read that one by you. Great touch putting the actual color of her eyes at the very end after describing it in so many ways. nicely done  |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Cutting a Swath of Color Shades of chartreuse meld with vivid violet Mandarin orange clashes with tones of red Yellow walls a reflection for crystals’ light Paint spattered floors dot colors bright A hodge-podge clutter above counters of green Blue and purple chairs pushed against the table Fiesta ware dishes stacked in haphazard array Handmade quilts hang on bold display Photographs of flowers in pink and purple Cradled in frames of variegated shades of blue Watermelon pillows fall from couch to floor Books on shelves and stacked against the door I splash shades of bright on the canvas of life Compensation for winter shades of black and white Yet, within this chaos of life lies a creative mess And my addiction to color, I must confess --- Alison |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Very lovely poem, Ron. Well now another challenge for the morning. Thanks, Mike. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I like that very much, Alison. Combining all of the colors onto a canvas of life is a very innovative display of imagination. If this little assignment were to do nothing more than produce this poem from you, it is a success. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you for taking the time to do what you are doing, Mike. You are making me think and stretch. Alison |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Love your poem, Mike..and Alison I thought I responded last evening. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Envy Green While the greening is appearing as the spring begins to bloom, the color of my bank account is darkening with doom. Expenses coined the many thoughts some not allowed to print when stopping at the "fill-er-up" with eyes half opened squint At prices raising envy green in wish those stock, did own. But cashed them in the 70's when shortage first postponed... The ease of living way back then, when green in many firsts. So sighing now, it's deja vu I think that I am cursed!!! M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Green money, green envy, the green representing beginning and prospering...you did well, miss. Your green is in the mail |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Fluid Silver I want to find the one he read where he felt the liquid smooth, where some one thing I skimmed in thought could get him in that groove…. I wish to learn just how to be like the others that I read, where “liquid smooth” is their forte, and silver rims their keys… I love to find those poets here that trickle down their thoughts, where love is love and laughter's fine with words that can’t be bought. For were I to find pearled wisdom shelled, whether smooth dark black or pearly white, I’d give it to the poets whose fountains spill this love for sake of write… I want to find the one she read where she felt the liquid smooth, where some one thing I dreamed in thought could get her in that groove… and then I’d cache well this feel, this silk gone satin stream, and lay it there beside your head amid your night limned dreams then in briefest break of day with soft touch to your throat, the muse would then awaken well, and pen those words dreams wrought. " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Her Seven Veils He wondered how she might step at all With so many veils that trimmed her tall; Yet shift with grace she seemed to do As she sauntered into view Now its been said that some veils hold A treasure behind their silks of gold And some scant veils are little more Than entry ways men would murder for It seems a challenge hides behind veils Nuances of how a person’s mind sails Each veil a layer beyond whom we would know And this is what intrigued the stranger so. He looked through her to see which veil He might discard before she paled Borneo green veiled her eyes So first her trust he would realize He spoke to her then, soft, and low She leaned a bit forward, his words to know Then a flick undraped her Neptune ice blue The ground felt the silk, but still more to do Tibetan sun red flamed about her face She turned quickly yet her wrist he embraced For he would look past her soiled deeds Finding truth through the honesty of her needs She tried to escape, hide behind her Black veils She needed no man to tip her scales But with gentlest touch he reached in kind Slowly removing terror from her mind Treasured gold silk hung around her sleeve As he extracted bits o’er which she grieved For he would know the sheer depth of her As she clung to this veil ever sure He enticed her to come to join his walk He touched no more, he merely talked The woods would hold their whispers close The next move would be one she chose She turned to him and the Borneo green Veiled again her eyes, or so it seemed He gasped and saw that the Neptune ice blue Veil had come back into full view He wondered if the Tibetan sun red Would again enflame around her head Then she turned, and sat upon the grass Whispering, “Come, I’ll share my past.” So beneath the trees they lingered there She such a vision, he would not dare To interject but a breath, or two As she spoke softly, he felt night’s dew. Her words were of the silks she wore Of the veils that covered her, and more She allowed that her very depths would show For a pale ivory veil glistened just so Time slow passed, she had spent her words On this man’s heart so that he heard More than all the veils could hide, And still, he remained there by her side. Then time stood still, she spoke no more words Yet around her shape, her veils, reassured, Had drifted from her lithe, lean form Till but one veil left to keep her warm.  Draped round her soul, this veil seemed aching Deep iris sheltered a soul from breaking She seemed beggared by lost chance of fate She waited for something, was he too late? ‘Tis said that purple is the color royal Here her silk shifted, her last veil loyal For he would not remove from her All that held her fragility sure Although he could not help but feel The satin behind her veil surreal He reached out his hand, to know her skin Then she was gone, and the air was thin. Now over his mind, his own heart aching He knew why her shimmer had left him quaking If one more time he could capture a dream, He would wish to see eyes of Borneo green |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ok, so they're reposts... so I'm waiting for my grade! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Looks at the picture in Sunshine's poem and thinks the grade will be based on the curve. A |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, Sunshine, you get a silver star for the first one and, concerning the second, it may be necessary for you to stay after class so we can get into it more deeply. Both are excellent, dear lady. You adapted colors to fit many different things and did it in a way worthy of any poet's applause......AND, my free verse filly, you did them in rhyme! That's impressive. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Sing Out the Colors of the Seasons! Evening sun shines pale yellow, milky Slips behind clouds, silver silky Mountains remain hidden, day is done Stillness reigns with the setting sun. Trees now stark silhouettes of black Snow blankets rivers, ice intact Winter cold nearing a bitter end With light of spring, new life to lend Deciduous trees, costumes of green Sturdy conifers nestled in between Fireweeds, roses and bluebells, blue Arctic painting in vibrant, colored hues Winter, summer, autumn and spring Wonders of life each day brings Presents from a creator’s hands Beauty abounds in a miraculous land. Evening sun shines pale yellow, milky Slips behind clouds, silver silky Moon hangs low over darkness deep Silence sings in a land that sleeps. ... Alison ---- Okay, the sun is yellow, but it is milky yellow. This one is one I wrote last winter, but I like it. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Free verse filly... there's got to be a poem in them thar words! Thanks! Glad you enjoyed both. Do I need a note from my mommy to stay after class? Oh wait. I'm out of mommies. Is anyone willing to adopt me? |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Karilea, I love both poems, but "Her Seven Veils" is absolutely mesmerizing. Wonderful writing. A  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well, Alison, all I really know of you is that you're a talented writer, so I will take your sincerity and thank you, with humbleness. I always see so much more in others than I do my own work - probably as it should be - so it's nice to get wonderful feedback from poets like you. Thank you! |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Alison, what a delightful poem and I just loved the topic. Well done girl! Oh, I almost forgot to mention I loved your second poem too! Maureen, to think I almost started writing using envy green and such! I'm glad I didn't, because I could never have written something so well crafted and clever as you.  Sunny One, what can I say? I am deeply impressed by your skills and, repost or not, it's always a pleasure to read your poetry.  Question to all: Could we please go back to the 'old' system and create a new topic for every poem you submit for an assignment? All poems in one topic is rather confusing for an old lady like me!  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Alison. have you ever been accused of being an over-achiever???? |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
:: laughs :: Not today -- until now.  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Delightful reads, all the way down the blackboard~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
I have attempted this one in anapestic style... The Color Purple Royalty and magic emanate from her gown As it flows and it flies not touching sullied ground Monarchy is quite clear though her gown is quite sheer Men will look women sneer, ev’ry time she comes near For her breast is quite supple When she wears the color purple Arana Darkwolf |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Perhaps you can point out the anapests, miss? ...and, if you ever try to rhyme purple and supple again, you'll be cleaning erasers for a month! |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
RoyalTY and maGIC emaNATE from her GOWN As it FLOWS and it FLIES not touchING sullied GROUND MonarCHY is quite CLEAR though her GOWN is quite SHEER Men will LOOK women SNEER, ev’ry TIME she comes NEAR For her BREAST is quite SUPple When she WEARS the color PURple I do apologize for the stretch in rhyme with supple and purple, but there's nothing that rhymes with purple and it's my favorite color! Oh, and I see where the last line fell apart. Ooops! Change that last line to "When she WEARS royal PURple"  ~starts clapping erasers together~Arana Darkwolf [This message has been edited by rachaelfuchsberger (07-22-2009 02:33 PM).] |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
How did you know how did you think that cream is pale and pale to pink, so like the thought that washes mood, when glances small are misconstrued? All you asked is "want some cream" and now my capillaries dream, and shout their joy in heated rush- oh. so exposed! Oh damn this blush! |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
How did you know how did you think that cream is pale and pale to pink, so like the thought that washes mood, when glances small are misconstrued? All you asked is "want some cream" and now my capillaries dream, and shout their joy in heated rush- oh. so exposed! Oh damn this blush! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Amaryllis, I welcome you! It's very good to see you here. This is really a brilliant poem. The meter is exact and the wording exceptional. The only place where the meter deviates is the line "want some cream" where the missing syllable caused me to stumble a bit but it doesn't take away from the power of the piece. Very nicely done! (no, you don't get extra credit for posting it twice!) |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
No extra credit? Aw! (well it was worth a try~!) . . Really, thank you so much Balladeer, for your review.. I`m so pleased you liked it. I find I`m drawn to certain poetry challenges at times.. especially when my muse is MIA.. darn her fickle heart. Gets the proverbial creative juice a`flowin! heh . And sorry for the double-post, truly.. posting from my mobile and it seemed not to go through, so I pounded the `send` button with awful abandon.. =P . Best~Amaryllis |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
PS, `Deer~ I don`t agree with you on the meter, in the sense that if you read the poem aloud it still continues with the iambs; I think what tripped you up was the enjambment (or lack of), since I wanted the statement to stand alone; I didn`t want to write it as `all you asked is "want some cream" and` because that would cause me to write the next line this way: `now my capil- -laries dream`... sooo.. hm maybe it needs revision in that place~? (but I must confess I like it the way it is-! heh) . What do you think? Thank ye kindly.. ~Amaryllis |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Sorry, miss, I continue to disagree.. All you asked is "want some cream" and now my capillaries dream If you read that in a single line you will get.. all YOU asked IS WANT some CREAM. That is not iambic with "is want" together. Your problem is that you are missing a syllable. "all you asked is want some cream" has 7 syllables. "and now my capillaries dream" has 8, along with every other couplet in the poem. It is a syllable short. Very easy to solve, just add a word at the beginning... All you ask is "You want some cream?" Bingo! Right amount of syllables and perfect iambic. You like the way it is? That's fine with me! I always say that is your poem and, if you're happy with it, that's the litmus test. I'll stand behind you all the way...even when you're wrong.....like now |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
you know..... . *tapping chin with finger* . I think....... . you just might be right...! And I know you are! I see now whatcha yoo sayin`.. and yep.. tis true tis true. Thank you much, my friend.. may I never stop learning~! All best to you~ Amaryllis |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
'neath a frosting of foam on a tropical sea 'bove the white sanded shallows incredibly clear such an eye catching tint surely speaks to the soul in the language of blue to the poets' trained ear. In the space between stars deepest indigo flows in a predawn display that defies certain words such a shade strikes a chord in the artisans' heart fashioned fresh in new forms that their voices be heard. More than this, in the depths of an infinite sky while ones' thoughts ride along on a wisp of a cloud dares a dreamer to draw as with sticks in the sand his own version of blue to be spoken out loud. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
True beauty in your words, Doc. You created an excellent anapestic poem, sir, that flows like honey - EXCEPT.. Last line, second stanza, you begin trochaic and the flow stumbles badly. The rest of it is so perfect that this line needs a change. Hey, teachers are always hardest on their best students because they know what they are capable of! I'll take the misspelling of infinite as a typo |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Correct as always most esteemed educator, actually both were typos, as when I went back to my notes I saw that I had transposed the words "fresh" and "in" when transferring them to the blueboards as well as the "a" for the "i". Note to self, "do not post so hastefully". Doc lol , or would that be hastily? One more note to this post, I must say, flipping to this thread and seeing Marges' name on top brought back many fine memories, she truly graced these pages. Doc [This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (06-21-2010 07:02 PM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
That she did, Doc, that she did. She is missed..  |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
You know, Moose, I thought the same thing. She is the one who got me help in this workshop! Thank you, Balladeer - and always my thanks to Marge. Amaryllis - I love your poem. Just fell in love with it. A |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Thanks Alison !!~Am. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I think you should re-post your poem in the Open poem site. It's the only time we can post twice - I always title mine the title (from the Poetry Workshop). It's like free advertising for more people to join us. I am working on the song parody and am totally stumped. It's either sleep on it or hit the old tequila bottle. See you tomorrow. I am off to bed. A |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Rachael, I am laughing at Balladeer and your "purple" and "supple" - I have missed you. Z |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
Colors eh? My submission- in haiku form Theres a lining here between the blue and white hues a sparkling silver -Trina. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me... [This message has been edited by s1nfully_1nn0c3nt (12-21-2010 09:24 AM).] |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I wonder if I may submit this from Seymour Tabin, who was a master in sonnets, and in the archives are a ton referencing the use of colors. The Language Of Color (part two) by Seymour Tabin When I Paint Just remembering how great he was, and also his poetry. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Trina...an excellent haiku indeed. Thank you Mysteria...I remember that one. SY certainly had a way with words, didn't he? I miss him very much. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
To all, And that this thread re-connects us with those that have passed gives special meaning to this season. May you all be blessed. Doc |
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