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Balladeer
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0 posted 2008-04-29 12:27 PM



O, we've  gone through describing colors by not mentioning them by name. Now...let's mention them by name! PLEASE don't give me the dull, routine (the sun is yellow, the black night) boring descriptions. come up with innovative ways to use the colors. We're poets, right? Creators, innovators, imagination experts...when you write "Yellow is..." give me something I don't normally think of.

I realize this will not be as easy as it may sound. It will take a lot of thought and imagination. Take your time....but try. You have a very patient teacher. Do it....NOW!

I'll start you off with an example of mine...

Ain't Easy Being Red, Man...

I'm telling you I'm red, man!
My body's overdone
From toes up to my head, man
From lying in the sun.
Those devil rays can make you pay
If one does not take heed
Now I'm a painful red, man
My body's fricacee'd!!!!

Now I am really red, man!
I thought I was alone
And didn't bother getting dressed
To run to get the phone
But Lorelei had just stopped by
And caught me in the nude.
My cheeks are really red, man
From what she saw protrude!!!

My face is burning red, man.
I'm ticked off to the max!
I'd fell a huge Sequoia
If I only had an ax!!
Found out too late that my last date
Had one time been a "he"!
I mean, I'm seeing red, man
This anger's blinding me.

Ain't easy being red, man.
That color's not my style.
When you're embarrassed, burned or ticked
It's hard to crack a smile.
Although I dread the thought of red
One fact will still hold true.
As long as I have you, gal
I'll never wind up blue.

© Copyright 2008 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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1 posted 2008-04-29 02:15 PM




Good job...

In fact, I think I'm turning green!




Ron
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2 posted 2008-04-29 05:31 PM


Here's an old one that might fit your criteria, Mike?
Munda
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3 posted 2008-04-29 06:10 PM


I'm among experts here! That's a great poem and example, Ron, and helped me understand better what is expected, although Balladeer gave an excellent example too. I guess I'll try again tomorrow and submit something now that came out of the blue.   
Balladeer
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4 posted 2008-04-29 06:54 PM


It certainly does, Ron. I'd never read that one by you. Great touch putting the actual color of her eyes at the very end after describing it in so many ways. nicely done
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5 posted 2008-04-29 07:52 PM


Cutting a Swath of Color


Shades of chartreuse meld with vivid violet
Mandarin orange clashes with tones of red
Yellow walls a reflection for crystals’ light
Paint spattered floors dot colors bright

A hodge-podge clutter above counters of green
Blue and purple chairs pushed against the table
Fiesta ware dishes stacked in haphazard array
Handmade quilts hang on bold display

Photographs of flowers in pink and purple
Cradled in frames of variegated shades of blue
Watermelon pillows fall from couch to floor
Books on shelves and stacked against the door

I splash shades of bright on the canvas of life
Compensation for winter shades of black and white
Yet, within this chaos of life lies a creative mess
And my addiction to color, I must confess

---

Alison

nakdthoughts
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6 posted 2008-04-29 08:36 PM


Very lovely poem, Ron.  Well now another  challenge for the morning.

Thanks, Mike.

Balladeer
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7 posted 2008-04-29 09:19 PM


I like that very much, Alison. Combining all of the colors onto a canvas of life is a very innovative display of imagination. If this little assignment were to do nothing more than produce this poem from you, it is a success.
Alison
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8 posted 2008-04-29 09:30 PM


Thank you for taking the time to do what you are doing, Mike.  You are making me think and stretch.

Alison

nakdthoughts
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9 posted 2008-04-30 05:30 AM


Love your poem, Mike..and Alison  I thought I responded last evening.
nakdthoughts
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10 posted 2008-04-30 05:47 AM


Envy Green

While the greening is appearing
as the spring begins to bloom,
the color of my bank account
is darkening with doom.

Expenses coined the many thoughts
some not allowed to print
when stopping at the "fill-er-up"
with eyes  half opened squint

At prices raising envy green
in wish those stock, did own.
But cashed them in the 70's
when shortage first postponed...

The ease of living way back then,
when green in many firsts.
So sighing now, it's deja vu
I think that I am cursed!!!


M


"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

Balladeer
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11 posted 2008-04-30 08:07 AM


Green money, green envy, the green representing beginning and prospering...you did well, miss. Your green is in the mail
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12 posted 2008-04-30 10:17 AM





Fluid Silver

I want to find the one he read
where he felt the liquid smooth,
where some one thing I skimmed in thought
could get him in that groove….

I wish to learn just how to be
like the others that I read,
where “liquid smooth” is their forte,
and silver rims their keys…

I love to find those poets here
that trickle down their thoughts,
where love is love and laughter's fine
with words that can’t be bought.

For were I to find pearled wisdom shelled,
whether smooth dark black or pearly white,
I’d give it to the poets whose fountains
spill this love for sake of write…

I want to find the one she read
where she felt the liquid smooth,
where some one thing I dreamed in thought
could get her in that groove…

and then I’d cache well this feel,
this silk gone satin stream,
and lay it there beside your head
amid your night limned dreams

then in briefest break of day
with soft touch to your throat,
the muse would then awaken well,
and pen those words dreams wrought.

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

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13 posted 2008-04-30 10:23 AM




Her Seven Veils

He wondered how she might step at all
With so many veils that trimmed her tall;
Yet shift with grace she seemed to do
As she sauntered into view

Now its been said that some veils hold
A treasure behind their silks of gold
And some scant veils are little more
Than entry ways men would murder for

It seems a challenge hides behind veils
Nuances of how a person’s mind sails
Each veil a layer beyond whom we would know
And this is what intrigued the stranger so.

He looked through her to see which veil
He might discard before she paled
Borneo green veiled her eyes
So first her trust he would realize

He spoke to her then, soft, and low
She leaned a bit forward, his words to know
Then a flick undraped her Neptune ice blue
The ground felt the silk, but still more to do

Tibetan sun red flamed about her face
She turned quickly yet her wrist he embraced
For he would look past her soiled deeds
Finding truth through the honesty of her needs

She tried to escape, hide behind her Black veils
She needed no man to tip her scales
But with gentlest touch he reached in kind
Slowly removing terror from her mind

Treasured gold silk hung around her sleeve
As he extracted bits o’er which she grieved
For he would know the sheer depth of her
As she clung to this veil ever sure

He enticed her to come to join his walk
He touched no more, he merely talked
The woods would hold their whispers close
The next move would be one she chose

She turned to him and the Borneo green
Veiled again her eyes, or so it seemed
He gasped and saw that the Neptune ice blue
Veil had come back into full view

He wondered if the Tibetan sun red
Would again enflame around her head
Then she turned, and sat upon the grass
Whispering, “Come, I’ll share my past.”

So beneath the trees they lingered there
She such a vision, he would not dare
To interject but a breath, or two
As she spoke softly, he felt night’s dew.

Her words were of the silks she wore
Of the veils that covered her, and more
She allowed that her very depths would show
For a pale ivory veil glistened just so

Time slow passed, she had spent her words
On this man’s heart so that he heard
More than all the veils could hide,
And still, he remained there by her side.

Then time stood still, she spoke no more words
Yet around her shape, her veils, reassured,
Had drifted from her lithe, lean form
Till but one veil left to keep her warm.

     

Draped round her soul, this veil seemed aching
Deep iris sheltered a soul from breaking
She seemed beggared by lost chance of fate
She waited for something, was he too late?

‘Tis said that purple is the color royal
Here her silk shifted, her last veil loyal
For he would not remove from her
All that held her fragility sure

Although he could not help but feel
The satin behind her veil surreal
He reached out his hand, to know her skin
Then she was gone, and the air was thin.

Now over his mind, his own heart aching
He knew why her shimmer had left him quaking
If one more time he could capture a dream,
He would wish to see eyes of Borneo green






Sunshine
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14 posted 2008-04-30 10:24 AM


Ok, so they're reposts...

so I'm waiting for my grade!




Alison
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15 posted 2008-04-30 11:35 AM


Looks at the picture in Sunshine's poem and thinks the grade will be based on the curve.

A

Sunshine
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16 posted 2008-04-30 12:01 PM



Balladeer
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17 posted 2008-04-30 04:28 PM


Well, Sunshine, you get a silver star for the first one and, concerning the second, it may be necessary for you to stay after class so we can get into it more deeply.

Both are excellent, dear lady. You adapted colors to fit many different things and did it in a way worthy of any poet's applause......AND, my free verse filly, you did them in rhyme! That's impressive.

Alison
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18 posted 2008-04-30 05:08 PM


Sing Out the Colors of the Seasons!

Evening sun shines pale yellow, milky
Slips behind clouds, silver silky
Mountains remain hidden, day is done
Stillness reigns with the setting sun.

Trees now stark silhouettes of black
Snow blankets rivers, ice intact
Winter cold nearing a bitter end
With light of spring, new life to lend

Deciduous trees, costumes of green
Sturdy conifers nestled in between
Fireweeds, roses and bluebells, blue
Arctic painting in vibrant, colored hues

Winter, summer, autumn and spring
Wonders of life each day brings
Presents from a creator’s hands
Beauty abounds in a miraculous land.

Evening sun shines pale yellow, milky
Slips behind clouds, silver silky
Moon hangs low over darkness deep
Silence sings in a land that sleeps.

...

Alison


----

Okay, the sun is yellow, but it is milky yellow.  This one is one I wrote last winter, but I like it.

Sunshine
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19 posted 2008-04-30 05:29 PM




Free verse filly...

there's got to be a poem in them thar words!

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed both.

Do I need a note from my mommy to stay after class?

Oh wait. I'm out of mommies. Is anyone willing to adopt me?


Alison
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20 posted 2008-04-30 05:42 PM


Karilea,

I love both poems, but "Her Seven Veils" is absolutely mesmerizing.  Wonderful writing.

A  

Sunshine
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21 posted 2008-04-30 05:48 PM


Well, Alison, all I really know of you is that you're a talented writer, so I will take your sincerity and thank you, with humbleness. I always see so much more in others than I do my own work - probably as it should be - so it's nice to get wonderful feedback from poets like you.

Thank you!


Munda
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22 posted 2008-04-30 05:58 PM


Alison, what a delightful poem and I just loved the topic. Well done girl! Oh, I almost forgot to mention I loved your second poem too!

Maureen, to think I almost started writing using envy green and such! I'm glad I didn't, because I could never have written something so well crafted and clever as you.

Sunny One, what can I say? I am deeply impressed by your skills and, repost or not, it's always a pleasure to read your poetry.

Question to all: Could we please go back to the 'old' system and create a new topic for every poem you submit for an assignment? All poems in one topic is rather confusing for an old lady like me!

Balladeer
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23 posted 2008-05-01 12:42 PM


Alison. have you ever been accused of being an over-achiever????
Alison
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24 posted 2008-05-01 01:15 AM


:: laughs ::

Not today -- until now.


Marge Tindal
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25 posted 2008-05-01 07:30 AM



Delightful reads, all the way down the blackboard~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

rachaelfuchsberger
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26 posted 2009-07-21 08:03 PM


I have attempted this one in anapestic style...

The Color Purple

Royalty and magic emanate from her gown
As it flows and it flies not touching sullied ground
Monarchy is quite clear though her gown is quite sheer
Men will look women sneer, ev’ry time she comes near
For her breast is quite supple
When she wears the color purple


Arana Darkwolf

Balladeer
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27 posted 2009-07-22 05:14 AM


Perhaps you can point out the anapests, miss?


...and, if you ever try to rhyme purple and supple again, you'll be cleaning erasers for a month!

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28 posted 2009-07-22 01:39 PM


RoyalTY and maGIC emaNATE from her GOWN
As it FLOWS and it FLIES not touchING sullied GROUND
MonarCHY is quite CLEAR though her GOWN is quite SHEER
Men will LOOK women SNEER, ev’ry TIME she comes NEAR
For her BREAST is quite SUPple
When she WEARS the color PURple


I do apologize for the stretch in rhyme with supple and purple, but there's nothing that rhymes with purple and it's my favorite color! Oh, and I see where the last line fell apart. Ooops! Change that last line to "When she WEARS royal PURple" ~starts clapping erasers together~


Arana Darkwolf

[This message has been edited by rachaelfuchsberger (07-22-2009 02:33 PM).]

Amaryllis
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29 posted 2010-05-31 01:50 AM


How did you know
how did you think
that cream is pale
and pale to pink,
so like the thought
that washes mood,
when glances small
are misconstrued?
All you asked is
"want some cream"
and now my capillaries
dream,
and shout their joy
in heated rush-
oh. so exposed!
Oh damn this blush!

Amaryllis
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30 posted 2010-05-31 01:51 AM


How did you know
how did you think
that cream is pale
and pale to pink,
so like the thought
that washes mood,
when glances small
are misconstrued?
All you asked is
"want some cream"
and now my capillaries
dream,
and shout their joy
in heated rush-
oh. so exposed!
Oh damn this blush!

Balladeer
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31 posted 2010-05-31 09:44 AM


Amaryllis, I welcome you! It's very good to see you here. This is really a brilliant poem. The meter is exact and the wording exceptional.
The only place where the meter deviates is the line "want some cream" where the missing syllable caused me to stumble a bit but it doesn't take away from the power of the piece.

Very nicely done!

(no, you don't get extra credit for posting it twice!)

Amaryllis
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32 posted 2010-06-04 12:27 PM


No extra credit? Aw! (well it was worth a try~!)  
.
.
Really, thank you so much Balladeer, for your review.. I`m so pleased you liked it.  I find I`m drawn to certain poetry challenges at times.. especially when my muse is MIA.. darn her fickle heart.  Gets the proverbial creative juice a`flowin! heh
.
And sorry for the double-post, truly.. posting from my mobile and it seemed not to go through, so I pounded the `send` button with awful abandon.. =P
.
Best~Amaryllis

Amaryllis
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33 posted 2010-06-04 05:56 PM


PS, `Deer~
I don`t agree with you on the meter, in the sense that if you read the poem aloud it still continues with the iambs; I think what tripped you up was the enjambment (or lack of), since I wanted the statement to stand alone; I didn`t want to write it as
`all you asked is
"want some cream" and`
because that would cause me to write the next line this way:
`now my capil-
-laries dream`...
sooo.. hm maybe it needs revision in that place~?
(but I must confess I like it the way it is-! heh)    
.
What do you think?
Thank ye kindly..
~Amaryllis

Balladeer
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34 posted 2010-06-04 07:11 PM


Sorry, miss, I continue to disagree..

All you asked is
"want some cream"
and now my capillaries
dream

If you read that in a single line you will get..

all YOU asked IS WANT some CREAM.

That is not iambic with "is want" together.

Your problem is that you are missing a syllable. "all you asked is want some cream" has 7 syllables. "and now my capillaries dream" has 8, along with every other couplet in the poem. It is a syllable short. Very easy to solve, just add a word at the beginning...

All you ask is
"You want some cream?"

Bingo! Right amount of syllables and perfect iambic.

You like the way it is? That's fine with me! I always say that is your poem and, if you're happy with it, that's the litmus test. I'll stand behind you all the way...even when you're wrong.....like now

Amaryllis
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35 posted 2010-06-04 08:47 PM


you know.....
.
*tapping chin with finger*
.
I think.......
.
you just might be right...!     
And I know you are!  I see now whatcha yoo sayin`..  and yep.. tis true tis true.  Thank you much, my friend.. may I never stop learning~!  
All best to you~
Amaryllis

Balladeer
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36 posted 2010-06-04 09:26 PM



Dr.Moose1
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37 posted 2010-06-21 09:24 AM


'neath a frosting of foam on a tropical sea
'bove the white sanded shallows incredibly clear
such an eye catching tint surely speaks to the soul
in the language of blue to the poets' trained ear.

In the space between stars deepest indigo flows
in a predawn display that defies certain words
such a shade strikes a chord in the artisans' heart
fashioned fresh in new forms that their voices be heard.

More than this, in the depths of an infinite sky
while ones' thoughts ride along on a wisp of a cloud
dares a dreamer to draw as with sticks in the sand
his own version of blue to be spoken out loud.

Balladeer
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38 posted 2010-06-21 11:51 AM


True beauty in your words, Doc.

You created an excellent anapestic poem, sir, that flows like honey - EXCEPT..

Last line, second stanza, you begin trochaic and the flow stumbles badly. The rest of it is so perfect that this line needs a change.

Hey, teachers are always hardest on their best students because they know what they are capable of!

I'll take the misspelling of infinite as a typo

Dr.Moose1
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39 posted 2010-06-21 02:04 PM


Correct as always most esteemed educator, actually both were typos, as when I went back to my notes I saw that I had transposed the words "fresh" and "in" when transferring them to the blueboards as well as the "a" for the "i".
Note to self, "do not post so hastefully".
Doc
lol , or would that be hastily?

One more note to this post, I must say, flipping to this thread and seeing Marges' name on top brought back many fine memories, she truly graced these pages.
Doc

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (06-21-2010 07:02 PM).]

Balladeer
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40 posted 2010-06-21 07:52 PM


That she did, Doc, that she did. She is missed..
Alison
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41 posted 2010-06-22 12:13 PM


You know, Moose, I thought the same thing.  She is the one who got me help in this workshop!  Thank you, Balladeer - and always my thanks to Marge.

Amaryllis - I love your poem.  Just fell in love with it.

A

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42 posted 2010-06-22 12:53 PM


Thanks Alison        !!
~Am.

Alison
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43 posted 2010-06-22 02:37 AM


I think you should re-post your poem in the Open poem site.  It's the only time we can post twice - I always title mine the title (from the Poetry Workshop).  It's like free advertising for more people to join us.  I am working on the song parody and am totally stumped.  It's either sleep on it or hit the old tequila bottle. See you tomorrow.  I am off to bed.



A

Alison
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44 posted 2010-06-22 03:20 AM


Rachael,

I am laughing at Balladeer and your "purple" and "supple" - I have missed you.

Z

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
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45 posted 2010-12-21 07:26 AM


Colors eh? My submission- in haiku form  

Theres a lining here
between the blue and white hues
a sparkling silver

-Trina.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me...


[This message has been edited by s1nfully_1nn0c3nt (12-21-2010 09:24 AM).]

Mysteria
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46 posted 2010-12-21 05:18 PM


I wonder if I may submit this from Seymour Tabin, who was a master in sonnets, and in the archives are a ton referencing the use of colors.

The Language Of Color (part two) by Seymour Tabin

When I Paint

Just remembering how great he was, and also his poetry.

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47 posted 2010-12-21 10:35 PM


Trina...an excellent haiku indeed. Thank you

Mysteria...I remember that one. SY certainly had a way with words, didn't he? I miss him very much.

Dr.Moose1
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48 posted 2010-12-22 10:38 PM


To all,
And that this thread re-connects us with those that have passed gives special meaning to this season. May you all be blessed.
Doc

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navwin » Main Forums » Poetry Workshop » Another colorful lesson

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