navwin » Main Forums » Poetry Workshop » guess the form...
Poetry Workshop
Post A Reply Post New Topic guess the form... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
wings of the moon
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land

0 posted 2004-11-04 10:59 AM


i'll give you virtual chocolate cake...
i don't think i've quite mastered the stress/un-stress elements, but here's an attempt:

It happened while grousing by the wine-sea,
or whale-road, whatever names you give it.

This dog had brought them to parallel me,
black coats smelling of winter, closely knit…

Maybe it’s here that the traveller’s skin split
while attempting to hug some earthly rust
solidity. A glance shirker, to sit
my eyes away from dog-fumed crust
even as they, sand-swept smiles, offered stranger’s trust.


© Copyright 2004 Claire Lucille - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2005-01-04 03:30 PM


Goodness!  'Tis none other than my very favourite, the Spenserian stanza.

Spenserians can be quite difficult
If you adhere your rhymes too certainly,
But I advise that there should be no fault
In bending them a little.  This could be
Accomplished by enjambment, or (like me)
A rhyme (like "me") that's of a common use;
Or bend a word to rhyme, like "contrary,"
Or find contaries as a rhyme:  "abuse,"
But don't repeat yourself: as that would be abuse.

ABABBCBC works well
If you are careful with the rhyming "B":
Avoid a rhyme that's difficult to fell,
Or maybe save it for the A or C
As those rhymes happen much less commonly.
Learn what rhymes often, and most easily,
And Spenser's form is simpler than it seems.
I hope you keep it up!  It seems to me,
That when you push this form to its extremes,
You'll find that what you write becomes the stuff of dreams.


"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is."  ~William Blake

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2005-01-04 07:14 PM


LP, you're such a cute show-off...

where the heck have you been!!??

And now that I know what wings has done, I can appreciate it all the more...

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Main Forums » Poetry Workshop » guess the form...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary