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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Poetry Workshop |
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A Sestina |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
A Dialog With My Wife Oh lest I speak from drink and say too much, Pray stop my mouth, my dear, with just a kiss. We have more wine and still it's not too late, The sunset's great and wind is blowing free, So let's get naked now and sail away … Unless there's something else you'd rather do. I'd like to go but that I cannot do; It would be fun but still, I have so much To do I dare not take the time away, So go alone but take this goodbye kiss, And then the next time maybe I'll be free … Unless, of course, by then it is too late. But then, my love, it well may be too late, For I, as well, have pressing things to do, And don't know when again I may be free To take you though I'd love to very much, So guess I'll go alone but take that kiss To stave me over while I am away. But do remember while you are away, I'll be alone so don't come back too late, Unless you think you'll need no further kiss For quite a while, and nothing else I'll do For you; and dear, I know you'll miss so much Those loving things I do to keep you free. Ah yes, my love, I'll sail alone and free To gaze at stars as clouds are borne away. I'll miss your charming presence there so much I'm sure I won't be coming back too late To take your sweetest offer so to do Those lovely things … Yes, let me have that kiss. So willing, dear, to leave with just a kiss, I hesitate to see you go so free; Instead, I think the better thing to do -- Get naked and together sail away; So hurry now before it is too late; I'm sure we will enjoy it very much So with a kiss, in love, we'll sail away, And so be free to come back very late, Enjoying all we do so very much. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Pete Rawlings - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
This is proof positive that a theme need not be complicated to be thoroughly enjoyable. This was beautiful, and I fear you are indeed a poet!  --Kess PS -- so far as I can tell, the form was perfect! (meter, structure, etc.) You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Very lyrical. You could almost sing this, N-A-P. Nice job. (Are you working on another one since you finished so early?) Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Kenneth Ray Taylor Member
since 1999-11-11
Posts 139Duluth, Minnesota, USA |
Now that you've proven it can be done, I feel compelled to try one myself. But alas, I am slow, I am slow. I suggest you change your handle to "NOTeworthy POET." This new handle would require very little change. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
You definately need to change your name |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Thanks, thanks, thanks to you all. You are much too kind and generous. But as you can probably tell, this was fun to write. I'm not sure I have another one though. Pete Pete |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Pete Yes I can tell this was fun to write, (unlike mine which was not), and it shows in the lovely rhythm and the ease with which the lines trip off the tongue. It's definitely true I think, that when a poet (and you are one btw!) is enjoying him/herself its shows in the flow .As the others have said, this was great, thanks. Philip |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
If you truly prefer to be Not a Poet Pete, then I would have to suggest that you Not write in such perfect iambic pentameter... that you Not keep your rhyme scheme in such good order, and certainly that you Not develop a theme as you did... Geesh - You brought this full circle, and had your readers going along for the sheer fun of it.....  NOT!! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Gosh, thanks Teach. I don't know what to say.    Pete |
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