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Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

0 posted 1999-12-20 10:05 AM


A Dialog With My Wife

Oh lest I speak from drink and say too much,
Pray stop my mouth, my dear, with just a kiss.
We have more wine and still it's not too late,
The sunset's great and wind is blowing free,
So let's get naked now and sail away …
Unless there's something else you'd rather do.

I'd like to go but that I cannot do;
It would be fun but still, I have so much
To do I dare not take the time away,
So go alone but take this goodbye kiss,
And then the next time maybe I'll be free …
Unless, of course, by then it is too late.


But then, my love, it well may be too late,
For I, as well, have pressing things to do,
And don't know when again I may be free
To take you though I'd love to very much,
So guess I'll go alone but take that kiss
To stave me over while I am away.

But do remember while you are away,
I'll be alone so don't come back too late,
Unless you think you'll need no further kiss
For quite a while, and nothing else I'll do
For you; and dear, I know you'll miss so much
Those loving things I do to keep you free.


Ah yes, my love, I'll sail alone and free
To gaze at stars as clouds are borne away.
I'll miss your charming presence there so much
I'm sure I won't be coming back too late
To take your sweetest offer so to do
Those lovely things … Yes, let me have that kiss.

So willing, dear, to leave with just a kiss,
I hesitate to see you go so free;
Instead, I think the better thing to do --
Get naked and together sail away;
So hurry now before it is too late;
I'm sure we will enjoy it very much


So with a kiss, in love, we'll sail away,
And so be free to come back very late,
Enjoying all we do so very much.



 

© Copyright 1999 Pete Rawlings - All Rights Reserved
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
1 posted 1999-12-21 12:54 PM


This is proof positive that a theme need not be complicated to be thoroughly enjoyable.

This was beautiful, and I fear you are indeed a poet!  

--Kess

PS -- so far as I can tell, the form was perfect! (meter, structure, etc.)


 You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.


jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
2 posted 1999-12-21 05:45 PM


Very lyrical.  You could almost sing this, N-A-P.  Nice job.  (Are you working on another one since you finished so early?)

 Jim

"If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther


Kenneth Ray Taylor
Member
since 1999-11-11
Posts 139
Duluth, Minnesota, USA
3 posted 1999-12-23 08:35 AM


Now that you've proven it can be done, I feel compelled to try one myself.  But alas, I am slow, I am slow.  I suggest you change your handle to "NOTeworthy POET."  This new handle would require very little change.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 1999-12-26 10:27 PM


You definately need to change your name  
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
5 posted 1999-12-27 09:20 AM


Thanks, thanks, thanks to you all. You are much too kind and generous. But as you can probably tell, this was fun to write. I'm not sure I have another one though.

Pete


 Pete

Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
6 posted 1999-12-27 02:53 PM


Pete

Yes I can tell this was fun to write, (unlike mine which was not), and it shows in the lovely rhythm and the ease with which the lines trip off the tongue.  It's definitely true I think, that when a poet (and you are one btw!) is enjoying him/herself its shows in the flow  .

As the others have said, this was great, thanks.

Philip

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
7 posted 2000-01-03 06:27 PM


If you truly prefer to be Not a Poet Pete, then I would have to suggest that you Not write in such perfect iambic pentameter... that you Not keep your rhyme scheme in such good order, and certainly that you Not develop a theme as you did... Geesh - You brought this full circle, and had your readers going along for the sheer fun of it.....

      

NOT!!


Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
8 posted 2000-01-04 10:52 AM


Gosh, thanks Teach. I don't know what to say.       


 Pete

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